Hello Darkness My Old Friend
Well I suppose you would like to know who I am first like most stories so here goes, I'm 5'9" [1.75 m] tall, slim and weigh 165 lbs [75 kg], I'm also closer to 60 years old than I am to 55 so you can see I'm no spring chicken so what am I doing here when all you want to read about is young and handsome teenagers?
Firstly I did not think I would ever be here and secondly I have to leave something behind me so that someone will know that I was once here. Sound confusing? Well people that's not the half of it, so I am going to tell you about my last day on this earth as accurately as I can in the hope that somewhere out there it will make a difference.
I used to have a very high profile job with a salary to match and then 12 months ago it all started to turn to the proverbial poop when the directors decided to give themselves a massive bonus and the company accountant cleared out the pension fund and all took off for parts unknown.
The rest of us were left holding the bag (empty of course) and were out on the street with nothing, now I'm not going to bore you with all the fine details of the company bankruptcy or all of us being left high and dry but in the next 12 months I had to watch while the bank took the house and all the contents, the finance company took the car and the boat (my pride and joy) and I was then sitting in a rundown one room apartment trying to find enough money to still pay the outstanding accounts. Well all that sunshine and joy then lead me to where I now am and that is sitting here in a small bay on the edge of the city limits having spent my last five dollars for the bus fare to get here.
I had arrived before sunrise to observe what was to be my last one and had watched as the first rays had crept over the horizon steadily pushing back the last of the cold darkness of the night.
The sun had begun to throw all the colors of the rainbow over the water and the reflections reminded me of diamonds, rubies and sapphires as they twinkled and sparkled across the bay. As the giant orb arose higher my depression deepened at the sight of pure and unadulterated beauty of nature knowing that this was now all that was left to me, so I settled deeper into the sand shucking my shoes as the day warmed and allowed the sand to surround my feet.
My thoughts began to drift over my life, lifting at the highs and drowning at the lows, wondering what it had all been for, now that I was at twilights door, the last of my family after 500 years of survival and now reduced to this a last day in the sun, a last sunrise, a last sunset and then the last moonrise, is this really the twilight of a life.
I had only one true love in my life and he was taken from me nine months after we had found each other and although I had further relationships he was my one and only true love and never again did that special feeling ever flood over me.
Being that we were both 14 years old at the time we did not have the benefit of adulthood to protect our feelings for each other so our parents decided that we should be split up and put an end to our love, being that it was in the fifties and it was then illegal in this country to be a part of any homosexual involvement of any sort.
So now here I am sitting on the beach waiting for the last sunset to say goodbye to a lifetime of joy and disappointment, the last of a family, the last of a life. What's that I hear, I'm not to old to start again, well let me tell you that after being told 75 times that I am over qualified (read to old) for the position and the burden of debts and the shame as friends and others watched my life's work disappear down the driveway in the hands of one agent or another do you really wonder why I'm sitting here?
As the day drew on my thoughts continued to go back and forth and the memories of the orgies of my youth and the lonely nights of my approaching older years went around and around in my head neither making a firm decision one way or the other only occasionally bring the beginning of tears to my eyes at lost friends and lovers and missed opportunities.
The feel of a light chill in the air made me aware that dusk was near and I realized that I had been sitting here all day on the beach and that the sun had taken a toll on any skin that had not been covered during the day, not that it made any difference as I was not going to be here tomorrow to suffer sunburn.
I turned myself westwards so that I could see the last sunset and readied myself for the coming of the night and the rising of that last moon and felt good inside that I had picked a full moon to see.
Far away in the distance I could hear the distant rumble of traffic on the motorway as the city workers made their way home after another fruitful day of employment and I almost pitied them and their humdrum lives. The lower edge of the orange sun kissed the horizon spreading its liquid gold onto the water before me and reflecting beams of light up to the fine scattering of Sirius cloud high up in the sky drawing on them like an artists pallet the subtle colors of pink and mauve splashed with a garish orange and deep red.
So this is it, my friend of light and life you also sink and die at the start of nights invasion as will my soul and body at the rising of the full moon, sink into the bosom of my sister the sea.
How slow the sun gives up its life to the night and I stare unwaveringly as it sinks slowly into the distant horizon, only, unlike myself, to be reborn on a new day to shower its strength over the land once again and to fight the good fight to maintain its position in the heavens.
As it dies its daily death I began to strip my clothes, neatly placing my shoes and sox together in the sand, I take off my shirt and folding it carefully to place it beside the shoes, now my trousers follow again folded carefully and put with my shirt, all that remains are my briefs, but for the sake of some unknown modesty I decide to leave them on as a final sign of humanity and then turning to the east I await the rising of the full moon and at last to end the doubt, pain, shame and the loneliness of this earth.
A dull graying on the eastern horizon tells me of the coming moon and I move without hesitation, but with soft and determined steps to the water's edge, it is now only a matter of minutes to the full glory of the ultimate giver of light and taker of life, it is now my time to see my friend the darkness and to glory in the comfort of peace.
Where Have All The Flowers Gone
The strong moon beam shone like a spot light sending its silver thread toward me over the water, guiding my way to the final resting place in the bosom of my sister the sea on which my ancestors had spent their search for the ultimate quest.
The water lovingly caressed my ankles as I moved onward down the silver trail of the moon beckoning me to follow its seductive light. A high pitched sound entered my head like the crying of the banshee's of old mythology trying to pull me away from my destiny but I ignored its persistent cry and silently begged to be left in peace for this, my last stroll in the moon light.
Attacking my eardrums the screeching came again and again until I could make out the individual words.
"Mister, hey Mister, hey you hear me, Mister."
I realized that the tears were streaming down my face as I turned toward the source of the sound and there behind me on the edge of the water was a diminutive elfin figure barely discernable in the darkness of the landmass behind it.
"Stay away from me elf, your powers have no hold on me, begone, leave me in my own peace."
"Hey Mister, I need your help, please can you help me?"
The soft caress of my sister the sea became cold on my bare skin as I tried to make out the figure of this imp that would attempt to interfere with my own desire.
"Please Mister, help me?"
My sister grew colder as though to reject my wish to join her in a loving embrace in the depths and the darkness of her eternal inner self. I stood transfixed in the water not knowing if I should go back or turn and continue forward in my quest of peace and finality.
"Hey Mister, why are you crying?"
"Hey Mister, why you got no clothes on?"
"Hey Mister, why you standing in the water at night?"
"Hey Mister, please help me!"
I know that grown men don't cry, so why am I bawling like a little kid, shaking and wringing my hands watching the water come closer to me as my knees gave out under me. Then I feel the small soft hands of an angel resting on my shoulders and that voice softly saying.
"Mister, can I help you?"
Is this what they look like, the fabled imps, elves, angels of the old books and tomes of history and why would they appear to a man without hope or desire in his last minutes on this misbegotten planet. He had a face like an angel not to thin but full lips and shining green eyes with a dark fringe showing beneath the cap on his head.
An angel, with a school cap on his head ?
Hang on what the hell is going on here, I can hear the traffic in the distance and the street lights are still glowing up on the road beside the beach and this angel is wearing a school uniform with cap, and all in the middle of the night on a lonely beach, his sox slowly falling down his calves as the water soaked them and made them to heavy to stay up.
I felt the gentle pull of two small hands on my forearm as he tried to help me from my knees and toward the waiting sand, his persistence made me begin to move in the direction he wanted, my head hung low and the tears still came forth down my cheeks.
"Come on Mister, this way, don't cry please."
My stumbling and silent mumbling did not seem to dissuade this angel of mercy at my side and then I was seated on the sand beside my neatly folded clothes.
"Sorry Mister, was you trying to do yourself?"
I mumbled some sort of answer, bowed my head and the tears continued to flow as I realized I was again a failure just as my whole life had turned out to be, why oh why had this little angel, or was he the devil in disguise, stopped me from my final rest.
"Come on Mister, you got to perk up. I need someone to help me please, Mister."
The insistent pleading from him finally got through to my conscious mind and I looked at him through tear-laden eyes.
"Son, I can't even help myself so how can I help you?"
"Mister, I'm lost and I don't know where I am."
"Son, I'm lost and unfortunately I do know where I am."
I could now see him clearer as he stood in front of me, he was about 13 or 14 years old with that slimness of youth and a soft almost golden tan on his skin, he stood about 5'6" [1.68 m] tall and his face was quite like the little elf depicted in the story books.
"Listen son, I don't think I'm the one you should be asking for help right now, I don't think there is much that I can do for you."
"Well Mister, it's just I don't know where to go or what to do, you see I went to sleep on the bus after school and it stopped here and the driver told me to get off. I've been wandering around for hours trying to find out where I am."
"Well son, I can tell you where you are but I can't do much to help you I am afraid."
"Oh I see, okay, then can you tell me how to get home, I live in a foster home at Banktree."
"Banktree! Hell son that's over 70 miles [100 km] from here."
"70 miles! Oh god how am I going to get home now?"
"How did you sleep that long that you didn't know where you were going, son?"
"My foster parents had me working very late on my chores last night, Mister."
"Wait a minute are you telling me you were kept up late working so you got no sleep?"
"Yes Mister, till 2.00am this morning."
"DAMN, DAMN, DAMN."
The boy jumped backwards, fear deep in his eyes. I looked at him, my face softening as I realized I had scared the life out of him.
"I'm sorry son, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just I can' t believe someone would keep a young kid like you working till those hours."
"Oh, ok sorry you just gave me a fright that's all, but yes they do that to me every night, when you're in a home like that you have to do what they say."
I reached for my clothes and began to dress myself as I talked on with him, I had decided that as things had not turned out as they should have I might as well go back to my tiny prison and see if I could find room for him for the night then look at what I could do for him in the morning.
"Look son, I live a few miles from here it's going to be a long walk as I don't have any money with me or we could get the last bus, and I'll give you some room on the sofa for the night, then in the morning we'll try to get you back to your foster home ok?"
"How much is the bus from here, Mister?"
"Well how old are you first?"
"I'm 13 and 6 months, Mister."
"Ok then one and a half fare would be about $7.00 from here."
"Oh that's ok then I've $8.00 in my bag we could use that and get the bus then, is that ok?"
The tears started to flow from my eyes again, here was a kid asking for my help and instead he was offering me help, confusion rattled around in my head, what sort of day was this, it was meant to be my last and here I am trying to take on a responsibility far beyond my present status or ability to handle.
"Look I feel pretty guilty about taking your money and I've nothing to offer you but a couch, I've had a bit of a rough spell this last year and I don't know if there's much I can do for you but you can have a bed for the night at least, ok?"
"Yes thank you Mister, that's good, by the way my name is Benny, but I like it when you call me 'son', no one has ever called me that before, so you can call me 'son' if you like."
"Nice to meet you Benny, my name's John, and yes I think son is nice too, if you don't mind?"
"No I don't mind, I'ld really like that, ok let's go and get the bus ok?"
"Ok son, it's over this way shouldn't be more than ten minutes, now don't be surprised my place isn't much but it's warm and dry at least."
He took my hand and we made our way back onto the road and down to the bus stop, we sat down on the bench and waited for the late bus.
Don't Worry Be Happy
As I handed the bus driver the fare he looked at Benny and turning to me he said.
"You got your grandson out a bit late haven't you pops?"
"Mind your own business and drive your bus," I snarled at him.
"Ok, ok, pops don't get your back up."
I turned to Benny and gave him a wink as we set off down to the back of the bus and took the rear most seats as the bus took off. By 10.30pm we were standing at my bus stop having got down from the bus and Benny was reaching for my hand to clasp as we made our way around the corner and toward my single room.
Benny had somehow invested me with a new vigor that I had not felt for many years and I almost felt glad that I was not now in that final embrace with my sister, but at the back of my mind was the worry of what I was going to do after tonight and on the morrow with this young kid. Well I suppose the best thing to do was try to contact the foster home tonight and let them know where he was and that he was safe for the night and would return to them the next day.
I opened the door to my room and ushered Benny inside and followed him in, at least the place was neat and tidy as I had left it cleaned so there would be no inconvenience for anyone after I was gone.
"Well here we are, sorry it's not much but it's all I have at the moment, grab yourself a seat over there and I'll find something for you to eat ok?"
"Thank you John."
He sat himself down on the recliner chair in the corner while I turned to the alcove that acted as a kitchen and began to look for something for his diner. There was not much in the cupboard but I found a tin of beans and some bread for toast as well as the last two eggs in the small refrigerator, putting everything on the cooker I plugged in the electric jug for a coffee as that was all I felt like and there would not be enough for the both of us to eat and he would need it more than I would.
I turned toward Benny and saw he had taken off his jacket and cap and was half leaning over the small coffee table in front of his chair.
A look of disappointment came over his face at my query.
"Sorry, yes son?"
He beamed at the change of approach.
"Ah, John don't you open your mail?"
I wondered what he was talking about until I realized he was looking at the shoe box full of unopened mail on the table, I had got so used to bad news and persistent requests for money that I no longer even bothered to open mail any more.
"No son it's only people asking for money all the time and lawyers telling me how things aren't going to get better so I don't bother with it."
"Could I open one, I've never had a letter before and I'd like to see what it's like to open one?"
I looked over at him and then realized I had a huge smile on my face at the wonderment of a box full of envelopes being an attraction to a small boy.
"Sure you can son, do you want me to pick one out for you or do you just want to grab one?"
"Oh really, would you pick one for me, then it'd be like it's mine, is that ok?"
"Sure I'll do that for you."
I walked over to the box and looked inside and after looking at a few decided to give him one from the bank thinking it would be special for him to have such an important letter to himself and handed it to him.
"There we go son that's the most important one there so you can open that one."
Just as I was turning to go back to get his dinner I saw the look of awe come over his face as he took the letter gingerly in his hand try not to rumple it and looking at the bank's name on the envelope slowly turning it over and over as he held it. As I prepared his dinner I heard the envelope being very carefully eased open then the rustle of pages being unfolded.
"What's a cheque?"
"Why do you ask that son?"
"Well it says on the letter that the cheque is attached."
"It says what?"
"It says the cheque is attached and there's this paper with a lot of numbers on it."
I walked over to him and reached out for the letter thinking that the bank had had a returned cheque of mine, but that could not be so as I had not written a cheque for over a year.
I yelled out again scaring the life out of my little friend in the process.
"Sorry Benny, hmm son, it's just I wasn't expecting this, can I have a look at the letter now please."
There it was nice and neat, all in black and white and to think that had my earlier plans been completed I would never have known of this except for the inquisitive nature of what I was starting to think of as my little angel.
The first page was a bank statement, the second was a covering letter, the third was a letter from the manager who also was an old school friend and had been my adviser at the bank as well and the last was a bank certified cheque for the sum of $243,000.00 being the outstanding balance after all costs had been deducted from the mortgage sale of my house and land.
My friend Richard's letter was more of an apology for the bank having to take the action it did and explaining that he had made sure that all my personal effects and chattels had not been included in the sale and had moved them to storage for me at his own expense.
I must have looked a sight or at least near to death as I felt Benny's little hands trying to tug on my arm.
"John are you ok?" he said in a concerned voice.
Without thinking I reached down and lifted him up into the air level with my face and gave him a big kiss right on the mouth then realizing what I had done almost dropped him again. I became very flustered and began to apologies frantically to him for doing such a thing to him. He stood there as red as a traffic light blushing and scuffing his shoe in the old carpet.
"It's ok John, you must be very happy."
"Yes my littler angel you've just saved my life."
"Oh John I didn't do that, I just opened a letter for you."
"Yes but what a letter."
"Wait Benny what is your surname?"
"Umm Chapman, why?"
"Ok Mr. Chapman, while I finish getting your dinner ready why don't you ring your home and then I'll tell you what it's all about, ok?"
He showed me a puzzled look then went to the telephone and began to dial a number as I returned to his dinner. I placed the beans on top of the toast and the two eggs on top of that then turned to take the plate over to him, and was startled at the look on his face while he still held the phone in his hand, his eyes beginning to brim with tears.
"What's the matter Benny?"
He held out the phone for me so I placed the plate on the table in front of him and held the receiver to my ear. It was a recorded message being played on the phone.
If that's you Bently, then you might just as well stay where you are, we waited for you till 4.00pm and you're not here so we're going to take this long weekend and a few more days to go on holiday, you'll just have to fend for yourself till we get back next Friday.
I could not believe my ears and turned to Benny as I heard those deep sobs start to come forward, these people must be right pigs to do that to a goodhearted kid like this one. I knelt down on the floor and held out my arms for him as he rushed over to me and placed his arms around my neck and let the tears flow for what seemed ages and then as he started to quiet down I placed him back in the chair and told him to start to eat and things would seem a bit better after.
I kept cajoling him to eat until it was all gone then took the plate to the sink to wash while he sat back a look of despair on his face.
"Ok son, now tonight is for sleeping and tomorrow is for sorting things out ok?"
"Oh John what am I going to do, please help me?"
"Ok Benny, don't you worry for now I'll make a bed for you and then I've some calls to make so you get some sleep and we'll fix this all in the morning ok?"
"Ok John I do feel pretty tired now."
"Good then I'll make the bed for you on the sofa and you get your head down then in the morning we'll see what can be done."
I readied a bed for him and as soon as his head touched the pillow he was out to it, he had taken his uniform off with out any embarrassment and slipped in between the sheets in his briefs and vest and closed his eyes immediately. I went to the phone and made a few calls quietly and then went to my bed in the corner and went straight to sleep with a light feeling in my heart, tomorrow was going to be a very special day for us both.
Let's Hear It For The Boy
I awoke the next morning to see that it was still dark and then noticed the time was only 5.00 o'clock, but I knew that I would not get to sleep again so decided to get out of bed and have my first coffee of the day and do some thinking.
I glanced over to the little bundle on the sofa and he was still out like a light so tried not to make any noise and let him sleep while I tried to put some sort of order into what had happened. While drinking my first coffee I looked at the box of unopened mail and decided to sort it out and then later open the rest of it, now that I had the money from the house sale I could afford to settle my outstanding debts and look forward to a bit of a life after all.
After sorting the mail into lawyers, banks and debts I left them on the table again unopened and smiled to myself as I thought I would let Benny open them as a treat for him, well you never know he might be an angel and bring some further good luck.
I was half way through my second coffee when I heard the unmistakable yawning and moving of Benny as he opened his eye's to a new day and the rustle of blankets as he moved about on the sofa.
"Did you sleep well?"
"Yes thanks John."
"Sorry, I don't have anything for breakfast for you but we'll go out soon and have a treat, ok?"
"Uhm, ok, but today's a holiday there won't be anyone open, will there?"
"Oh yes we'll find somewhere, but first I've a little job for you."
"Really? What is it?"
"Well I'd like you to get out of that bed and come and open the rest of the mail for me, I think that you're a lucky sort of person and you may find something good in there for me again."
Benny jumped off the sofa and started to make his way over to the pile of envelopes and I had to smile at his eagerness to please.
"Ah son I think you better get dressed first."
Benny again blushed a bright red and made his way to where he had carefully folded his clothes the night before and proceeded to dress in his uniform. He began to open one envelope after the other not really reading them just passing them on to me to read the contents.
"John, this's a funny one it's got a plastic card in it."
"Ah so that's the one I'm looking for."
"What is it?"
"It is my new credit card, when I talked to my friend from the bank last night he said it'd been reactivated by the bank as soon as the sale of the house had gone through."
A look of understanding came over his face as he digested the information.
"It's the same as real money isn't it?"
"That's right son, we can use it to have some breakfast now, so tell me what else is there to open?"
"Well there's some letters that I think are from some lawyers so I'll open them now, ok?"
He bent his head to the task and after the second one was opened he looked up at me with an awestruck expression on his face and holding out the letter toward me. The first thing I saw was the attached cheque and then looked twice at the amount and could not believe what it said.
Richard had told me on the phone last night that the directors and accountant from the company had been caught before they could flee the country and had been prosecuted for their actions and had all that they owned confiscated by the courts but that was all he knew.
The courts had decided that the confiscated property should be disposed of and the proceeds should go toward the monies owed to the employees of the company. My share was way beyond my wildest dreams and included salary, bonuses, severance and pension funds plus interest for the past twelve months a nice tidy sum coming to a total of $386,004.45.
I sat there in disbelief at the huge sum and new it was only because of one small boy that it was in my hands at all, and then I knew what I had to do and gained strength from the new purpose I now had in life. The rest of the letter opening continued until all had been taken care of, most of which were receipts for full payment of debts, as I knew that Richard had done this from the sale monies as he had told me the night before, it was no real surprise.
"Well Mr. Chapman I think it's time to go out and look for some breakfast."
He sat there looking like it was Xmas surrounded by empty envelopes and letters strewn over the table and floor.
"Come on Mister. We've got a lot to do."
"What're we going to do now John?"
"First we go pick up my car, then we're going to eat the biggest breakfast I can find for you."
"You have a car?"
"Yes, my friend Richard took care of it for me some time ago and put it in storage with a few other things of mine."
I felt I did not need to tell him that Richard had saved it from the finance company along with my pride and joy by paying the outstanding debt on them. Benny jumped to his feet holding out his hand for me to take as we headed for the door to catch a taxi at the stand just around the corner from my room.
The Only Way Is Up
Benny and I jumped into the back of the first taxi on the rank and I gave the driver the address of the storage company where the car was stored.
"It's a public holiday today mister, they won't be open."
"It's ok driver they know I'm coming over today just get us there thanks."
The driver just nodded and started to pull out of the stand to take us to the address. Little Benny was beside himself with anticipation as we got closer to the storage building and kept asking questions about what type of car it was and if it was new and was it a nice color, but I just said to wait and see and smiled at him and his antics.
When we pulled up at the gates and got out of the taxi Benny looked into the wired off yard and pointed out a new BMW in English racing green parked near the front gate, oohing and ahhing over it.
"Look at that one John, is yours like that one?"
"No son it's not like that one."
Before he could ask any more questions the manager of the yard came to the gate and opened up for us.
"Everything is cleaned and ready Mr. Chapman."
Out of the corner of my eye I saw the look on Benny's face and again smiled to myself.
"Hey John, you got the same name as me."
"Hmm, yes funny that isn't it?"
By this time we had reached the car and I looked down at him standing there, mouth open and stuttering.
"You said it was not like yours John."
"That's right it's not like mine, it is mine."
"Oh wow, it's really yours?"
"Yep, ready for breakfast now."
He stood by the car shaking and jittering around as I opened the door for him and he shot into the passenger seat like he had been fired from a gun.
"Oh John, this's so neat, but why do you live in that little room if you own a car like this one?"
"It's a long story son and I'll tell you everything later on today when we're not so hungry, ok?"
"Yeah, great, oh wow, can we go on the road now, pleeeeaaassssseeee?"
"Ok here we go breakfast for two"
I had never appreciated a car so much as I did just then, feeling my life starting again but this time it had more purpose than before and I had a nice soft feeling about what was to come for the rest of the day and the knowledge that if it had not been for a little elf on a dark beach I would not be feeling like the phoenix of old mythology rising through the flames of despair to a new beginning.
One of the calls I had made the previous night had been to an old friend who had been my tailor and he had agreed, after I had explain all to him, to be in his shop this morning for me for a bit of after hours shopping.
"You know son there's something wrong here?"
"What do you mean John?"
"Well we can't go to breakfast if my lucky charm is dressed in a school uniform, now can we?"
"But it's all I have except for my gym clothes and they're at your room."
"Oh well we'll have to try to find something else for you to wear then, they might not let you in to eat otherwise."
"But everything's closed for the holiday."
"Oh, yes you're right, well maybe I can get someone to open up for us seeing as it's a special day."
I was enjoying this so much it was getting harder and harder to keep from smiling and as I pulled the car into a parking place near the local mall I said.
"Let's have a look in here, there might be someone here to help us out."
Benny got out of the car with a dubious look on his face as he surveyed the nearly empty mall, I got out of the car and locking it, walked around to his side and he unhesitatingly placed his hand in mine and we made our way toward the entrance of the mall.
The second shop in the mall was that of my friend the tailor so I stopped at the door and knocked on it till I saw him approaching to let us in, the look on Benny's face was priceless as Jim opened the door poking out his hand to shake.
"John so good to see you again, I thought after what happened I was not going to have the pleasure of your company again."
"Well you're not on your own there Jim, but it looks as though things are going to improve, now I'd like you to meet a special friend of mine, he needs some essentials, Jim meet Mr. Bently Chapman."
"Mr. Chapman, my pleasure to meet you sir."
He pushed out his hand for Benny to shake and at the same time giving me a funny look at the similarity in our surnames but I just shook my head and shrugged my shoulders.
"Good morning sir."
Benny extended his hand and shook Jim's while looking a little embarrassed and again shuffling his feet.
"Right then, so what does the young man need John?"
"What ever he needs Jim, just fit him out as though he's going on a four week holiday to the islands and something a bit fancy for good dining."
"Right, you want to have a coffee while I get sorted out then John?"
"Yes thanks Jim, is it in the same place as usual?"
"Yes you go ahead you know where everything is, now Bently let's get you sorted ok?"
Jim took Benny by the hand and lead him down to the back of the store while I made my way to the small coffee bar set up near his office. I had been sitting down for about five minutes when Benny came rushing up calling frantically for me and all in a fluster.
"What's the matter son?"
"He's trying to give me lots and lots of clothes and I can't take them I don't have any money for them."
"Oh is that all, well you just take what ever he gives to you and I'll talk to him later about how you can find the money, ok?"
"But I can't John, I don't have any money at all, and some of the clothes are very expensive, I could never pay for them."
"Hey Mister, you're my lucky charm, right?"
Benny nodded his head but did not seem to sure.
"Well if you're my lucky charm then you've got to look like it, so you just let Jim do his thing and all will be ok."
He looked at me and shook his head again but decided to take my advice on face value and made his way back to where Jim was standing with a smile on his face. A little later Jim came up to me a broad smile on his face.
"Well John, I've never enjoyed outfitting anyone as much as that young man, by the way did you want a suit for him?"
"Yes, that'd be a great idea, can you measure him up and we can pick it up when you have time to make it for him."
"Fine, I'm open tomorrow all day why don't you pop in then I'll have it ready for him."
"That's very kind of you Jim but you don't have to be in that much of a hurry, it's a holiday you know."
"Not at all John, it's my pleasure, I've never seen anybody enjoy shopping as much as he is, I think it'd be nice for him if he could have it tomorrow."
"Well ok then, can you put him in something nice for today I want to take him to Del's for lunch."
"Yes fine I've got just the outfit for him and if you come back after lunch I'll have everything packaged up for you to take home."
"Thanks Jim, that's really good of you and I do appreciate your time today."
"Ha, what I'm going to charge you for this little lot will change your mind."
Jim departed to the back of the shop laughing fit to burst and shortly returned with Benny in tow.
"Well what do you think?"
I could not believe my eyes, there in front of me stood a vision beyond compare. Benny was dressed all in tan and brown that brought out the sparkle in his eyes and the color of his hair. The shirt was a very pale fawn with a light brown jacket, the trousers were of a darker brown with a light tan belt which accentuated his slim waist while on his feet were a pair of tan loafers that matched the belt.
Benny stood there so proud and smart in his new clothes I could hardly take my eyes off him.
"Jim you've out done yourself this time, he looks perfect, just like a lucky charm should."
Jim hurmphed and beamed his pleasure at dressing Benny to perfection for the occasion.
"Ok then John and I'll have everything ready for you later on after breakfast, but you two better get going or it'll be lunch instead."
Nodding my thanks I took the proffered hand of Benny and we headed to the door to have at last something to eat, I looked at my watch and Jim had been right it was more going to be elevenses rather than breakfast.
We got back to the car and I drove the two blocks to Del's restaurant, holidays or not Del never closed, he had a very select clientele and was on call for them at all times no matter what day it was.
The restaurant is tucked away and unless you knew about it you would never notice it so Benny did not realize it was there.
"Where are we going to eat John, I don't see any place around here?"
"Oh I think I know a place that'll feed us some eggs."
We left the car and I approached a brick fronted building with a small plaque on the door and pushed the bell on the side, it was immediately open by Del himself. Del was a big bluff man with the manner of a Father Xmas, all jovial and jolly.
"Well, well Mr. Chapman so nice to see you again, it's been such a long time."
"Yes Del it has, but I'm here to make amends for that oversight, now what've you got for a young man that hasn't eaten for two days?"
"Oh, Mr. Chapman is this young man with you, he looks to well dressed to be with you, is he a special client of yours?"
Del continued to laugh as he led us to my old table in a corner where we could see everybody in the restaurant and it was noticeable that a lot of old faces were surprised to see me here again.
"And what would you like today Mr. Chapman?"
"Del we're completely in your hands but I must warn you that this young man is very, very hungry so I'll let you decide how he should be filled up."
Benny sat there a look of wonderment on his face as if he could not believe he was actually sitting in this rather exclusive restaurant and this big jolly man was treating him like a grown up.
"Very good I think I have just the thing to fix a young man's appetite."
Del departed toward the kitchen talking and chatting to everybody as he passed by the table but never stopping just chatting on the run.
"Excuse me Mr. Chapman?"
I looked up to see Dennis, the young man who was Del's only other staff member in the restaurant side of the business.
"Hello Dennis, how're you?"
"Very well Mr. Chapman, it's nice to see you here again."
"Well it's nice to be here again, Dennis."
"Will your guest be having the same as yourself for starters?"
"Yes Dennis, that will be fine, thanks."
Dennis turned and headed toward the kitchen entrance while I watched as Benny looked all around the restaurant, his mouth open at all he saw. As I was watching him he glanced toward the far corner where a middle aged man and a young Asian lad were sitting, talking and eating.
Benny looked and then looked again at the two before turning back to me with a look of awe on his face.
"John, John, that's, that's."
The look on his face and the hushed whispering and stuttering almost brought me to the point of laughter.
"Yes son, that's the Minister of Finance."
"Wow, then that Asian boy must be very important."
"Ahem, well yes he is sort of important to the Minister."
I did not think this was the time to tell him that nearly all of the tables were occupied by gay men and there boyfriends and that this restaurant was usually used mainly by gay people of the upper income bracket so that they would have a little place to call their own which is what Del had set it up for, and, of course so that he could spend as much time with his boyfriend of five years namely Dennis our waiter, although Dennis was only now twenty two years old he had wanted to stay with Del from the first moment they had met, as it turned out at a party at my old home.
This was not the time to tell all to Benny and especially the fact that from a very young age I had been a lover of younger men as well, this had to be sorted out in my own mind as I do have certain ethics as far as having intimate relations with anyone younger.
Admittedly Benny was very tempting but that, I had decided was out of the question as the circumstances of our meeting and the type of life he had lead would not have sat well with me, I would have always felt I was taking advantage of the situation and that was one thing as hard as it might be, that I could not do.
At that moment Dennis returned with our freshly squeezed orange juice and as he placed the glass in front of Benny he looked over to me and raised an eyebrow, to which I gave a small shake of the head knowing what he was getting at.
Benny clasped the tall glass in both hands to lift it to his mouth and as he took the first sip the utter enjoyment on his face said it all.
"John, it's real oranges not out of a packet."
"Yes son, Del only serves the best here."
"Mmmmmmmm, this's so great."
I smiled at the lip smacking going on in the other chair and began to drink mine as well. Del arrived with fresh crisp croissants with side dishes of cottage cheese, ham sliced paper-thin and a small dish of ripe red cherry tomatoes cut in half and lightly drizzled over with olive oil.
I began to show my little charge how to slice and add the assortment of food on the croissants and we dug in as though we had not eaten for a week. When we had finished Dennis came to clear the table and asked if the meal would be served as I had always had it before, and I replied it would.
"For you both Mr. Chapman?"
"It's a special occasion Dennis so I think that it'd be a good idea to continue as always."
"Very well Mr. Chapman."
He looked over to Benny and gave him a very big smile and said.
"You must be very special Master Chapman, you're going to enjoy this meal."
With that said he moved away while we both sat back to rest a little from the first course. It was not long before Del arrived again with two plates with a large quantity of eggs benedict and two side dishes of crisp smoke cured bacon and a wrack of steaming hot toast.
Dennis was close behind him with the two glasses of my favorite champagne in crystal flukes, he placed them one beside each of us and gave out a small giggle as he saw the look on Benny's face.
"Oh, John, this's so much better than cornflakes for breakfast."
"Yes it's a nice change, mmm?"
Benny just managed to get the last comment out before his mouth was full of eggs benedict. We set to and began to eat some of Del's finest and there was no need for conversation as we both enjoyed it all.
I must say I was surprised at the amount that Benny could put away but by the time we came to the end of the meal he looked as though he would never eat again.
"Well son, did you enjoy that?"
"Oh John, I couldn't eat another thing."
"Oh that's a shame, we still have a little more to go yet and it'd upset Del if we didn't finish it all."
"John, really I don't think there's any more room, if I have any more I'll burst."
When Dennis came to clear the table he looked down at the bulge in Benny's stomach, smiled, and then looked at me with another eyebrow lifted.
"Yes Dennis I think we'll chance it, don't you?"
"Do you think I'll have to call the bomb squad Mr. Chapman?"
"Oh I don't think so Dennis, we can always use a stomach pump if we need to."
Giggling as though he was being tickled Dennis finished clearing and went off to the kitchen. There is something satisfying to see a young man who can hardly move and is red in the face from a little too much food with the added pleasure of the one glass of champagne.
Finally Del appeared with the last of the meal and as he placed down the pot of fresh brewed coffee for me he gave Benny a small bow and placed in front of him a very large cappuccino and on the table in front of us a plate of petit fois.
"Well this should get us through till dinner don't you think son?"
"Oh yes John, I don't think I'll ever eat again, this's been so great and it's only for breakfast."
"Well I don't always eat this much for breakfast son, this's special for you, tomorrow it's back to cornflakes."
I was watching Benny trying to lick the cream off his top lip when I caught Del's eye and he came over to the table.
"Del I have a couple of calls to make do you think you could show me to the telephone?"
Now Del is by no means slow on the uptake and gave a quizzical look and helped to pull out my chair.
"I won't be a minute son I just have a call to make, will you be ok for now?"
"Yes thank you John."
As del and I made our way to the front desk he asked me.
"What was that for John, you know where the phone is after all this time."
I began to explain what I wanted to do and as he smiled at the thought of it he moved away and I went to the phone to make some calls.
If I Was a Rich Man
As I returned to the table I could see Benny talking to Del and appeared to be in quite a shocked state so I asked what was going on.
"Oh John, Mr. Del wants me to pay for the breakfast and I tried to tell him that I've no money and he keeps saying to put it on my bill and I don't have a bill and, and, everything."
"Ok Benny, I'll try to sort it out for you then, now Del what's all this about?"
"Well Mr. Chapman, as I tried to explain to Master Chapman it's the custom of this restaurant that the first time you dine here you're responsible for the account."
"Yes I know that Del."
"Well I was trying to explain to the young gentleman that all he had to do was sign the bill and we'd send him the account at the end of the month."
"Oh, is that all, ok Del can we have a look at your register of clients then?"
"By all means Mr. Chapman."
With a grand flourish Del produced the register for us to look at.
"Now then let me see, ah yes here it is, Master Bently Chapman and your credit limit is $500.00, yes that seems to be all in order Master Chapman so if you will just sign here then that will be settled."
I do not know what was the funniest to see, Del's serious business face or the total confusion on Benny's, so I just said to Benny.
"Well you must be a client here if you're in the register so you might as well just sign the bill and be done with it, Del never makes a mistake with the register."
Benny took the proffered pen and numbly signed the bill and then Del and I could keep it in no longer and burst out laughing until we shed tears of joy at our little ploy, while Benny sat there trying to work it all out.
"It's ok son, you're now a formal member of Del's restaurant and you can dine here anytime now as long as you don't exceed your limit, ok?"
"Oh John, you and Mr. Del were playing a trick on me, that's not fair, I'll have get one back on you some time."
At this last exchange we both got to our feet and Benny approached Del in a very formal way putting out his hand.
"Mr. Del, thank you for an excellent breakfast and for all your help."
"My, John he's so formal isn't he, don't you worry Master Chapman you're now a client of Del's and there fore you can now just call me Del ok, no more 'Mister'."
God this boy blushes the reddest red I have ever seen, I gave a short laugh and said we had to be away as some other things had to be done before nightfall. It was nearly two o'clock in the afternoon as we arrived at Jim's shop to pick up Benny's clothes and then it was on to the next appointment with the land agent that I had rung while at the restaurant.
On the drive to Hanson Bay where we were to meet with the land agent Benny chatted non stop about his morning and deep inside my belly I could feel that sense of satisfaction at doing something good for some one else.
We arrived at the bay and I saw the agent standing outside the house we had talked about on the telephone and as we pulled up to the curb the agent came forward to the car to open the door offering her hand in greeting.
"Mr. Chapman, so nice to meet you, I've made the enquiries that you asked me to do and the owners're willing to negotiate with you."
"Thank you for coming out on a holiday day to help me Miss Shannon but the final decision will be made by Master Bently."
The house I had selected was right on the water front with a small jetty leading out to the ocean so that I could then moor my boat almost right at the from door, it was a bungalow style with three bedrooms a nice open lounge looking out over the water, a well set up kitchen and large bathrooms off the two main bedrooms, the dining room was beautifully set also over looking the water And the owners wanted to sell it with most of the chattels intact so I could use what chattels of mine I wanted to from storage and probably dispose of the rest.
Benny stood looking out over the water as we talked and then when I turned to him and asked if he thought it was a nice place.
"Oh John, it's so nice here, I wish I could live in a house like this one."
"So you like it then?"
"Yes, yes it's so peaceful and the beach is great."
"Well Miss Shannon it looks like it's time to deal, it has the final seal of approval as far as I'm concerned."
We went up to the house and the owners met us on the front step and we went into the house to discuss the conditions and the price and when all was agreed on they said that they had not lived in it for nearly a month as they had their new house now and that I could move in at my own convenience so I took the keys from them and arranged the cheque to be in their bank on the first day of business.
"Well son what do you think, as your foster parents are away for a week would you like to help me move in here and stay till they got back?"
"Oh John, please can I, really, can I?"
The tears of joy were beginning to come forth now and to see him so happy even if it was only for the next week gave me hope again that the world was not yet dead to me.
"Ok then I'll arrange for the movers today and they can get us in here by tomorrow even if I have to pay extra to do it so tonight'll be the last one in the old room and tomorrow you'll be sleeping in your own room here."
"Thank you John, oh thank you so much, you've been so nice to me and I cann't do anything for you, I feel so useless for not being able to help."
"Last night on the beach you gave me all the help I've ever needed and I'll never be able to repay you Benny so you've done all you'll ever have to do for me, ok?"
"But I didn't do anything for you John."
"Son you did more last night than anyone has ever done for me, you gave me back my life and that's not a small thing to me, so that's all there is to it now forget it and just enjoy your week and don't worry about anything more, ok?"
"Well ok John if you say so then but I don't think I did that much for you to treat me to all this."
"I want you to have a little of my happiness that's all, now enough of this we've a lot to do and then we have to find somewhere for dinner tonight."
Red Sails In The Sunset
Dinner for the two of us was the complete opposite of breakfast being as Benny wanted something simple so it was off to the Big Mack country for our evening meal but after just one burger and one small fries he was full, so then it was out to the movies and it was agreed that he picked one he liked and I would just tag along, as I was not a great movie enthusiast, but he found a good blood and guts one he liked so the evening was not to bad after all.
We left the cinema at around ten o'clock and made our way back to the one room with all the arrangements made for the movers tomorrow at nine am and then we were out of here and the new life would begin.
As I pulled back the covers for Benny to get into bed, he turned to me, eye's downcast and a small blush begining to appear on his cheeks.
"Umm, John, umm, can I, umm, you know, umm, have a, umm, you know, umm, cuddle, umm, you know?"
What else could I do but put my arms out to him and squeeze him tight as he melted into me with a big sigh and a snuggle onto my chest, I was still trying not to laugh at the way he had made the suggestion but I could feel his need for a bit of tenderness from someone.
"Ok kiddo, in you go, time for sleep."
"Thanks John, for everything."
"It's ok son tomorrow is going to be another day so get your head down and I'll see you in the morning."
I watched as he settled down on his makeshift bed while deep inside me there was a small fire begining to burn and the doubts and fears of the past started to fade into that part of my memory with the delete bin.
I lay back on my bed listening to the quiet breathing of the small mound on the sofa and let my mind run free for the first time in ages, plans forming and being filed for later use, I now had a purpose and that purpose was to see that Benny had every chance and opotunity that I could give him.
Yes there were going to be problems and maybe the odd fight or two with the powers that be, but then again that was going to be half the fun, this boy, this angel, this 'SON' was going to get every chance I could buy, beg, cajole, or damn well demand for him.
The dream held me in a comfortable embrace, the light giggles and and pushing fingers as the perfect vision stood before me, slim, tanned legs leading up to a pair of snug league shorts and on up to a pale green t shirt and through the mist of dreamland was the face made just for dreams, smiling mouth gleeming eyes topped off with a rumpled thatch of brown hair.
I sighed with contentment, if all my dreams were going to be like this then I could sleep for a week, again the digging and giggling came through and I realised it was no dream, there he stood beside my bed carefully holding a cup of coffee out to me.
"Mrmph, Morning son."
Now is this the way to wake up or what?
"You sleep well son?"
"Yes thanks, I wanted to make a coffee for you."
"That's just the way I like to wake up kiddo, thanks a lot."
"You want to go have a shower son?"
"Oh, I've done that already, can I ask a question?"
I pulled myself up against the head board settling the coffee on my lap.
"Sure Buddy, what you want to know?"
I patted the bed beside me for him to sit down and looked at the very thoughtful look on his face, a hundred emotions running across it as he tried to form the questions.
"Do you have, uhm, a family?"
Doesn't beat about the bush this one does he I thought, well if he wants to know then he has a right as far as I'm concerned.
"No Benny, I've never been married, as far as I know I'm the last of my family."
"Oh, uhm, did you ever want a family?"
"Well let me see, how can I explain this to you, when I was younger I was always busy having fun and things then, as I got older I thought it would be pretty neat but now it's too late so I guess there won't be a family for me now."
"Ahh, well if you had a family how many kids would you want?"
Now was this a leading question or what, I think I can see where this is heading, but hey isn't it what I had in mind anyway?
"Well I would have to have a son first, that would be important and if there were anymore after him then I would be very happy and love them just the same."
I watched his reactions a he sat crosslegged facing me on the bed, his fingers entwined in his lap thinking, forming the next question.
"What would your, uhm, son be like?"
Again so many emotions ran over his face and in his eyes, fear, hope, desire, desperation, all of them churning and whirling through his mind, painting a picture on his face.
I leaned over to place the cup on the bedside table, crossed my arms resting back against the bed head and looked straight into his eyes.
"Benny, if I had a son I'd want him to be exactly like you in every way."
He didn't move but held my gaze, firm and steady almost expressionless.
"Why like me?"
"Because deep inside you there's a very special person waiting to come out."
A quizzical look came over his face.
"But I'm nobody, I don't even have a mum and dad."
"What you have do or don't have doesn't make any difference to the person you are."
"Tell me Benny, do you remember anything about your parents?"
"No not much, only what the people at the DCYFS told me."
[DCYFS = Department of Child Youth and Family Services]
"And what did they tell you can you remember?"
"Well my dad was a carpenter but he died at work, some accident I think, and my mum went to hospital but never came home again then the DCYFS lady came and took me to the home, then I was sent to different homes all the time but I didn't like it much."
"Do you know where you were born?"
"I'm not sure, I think it was Wanganui, why?"
"Oh, it's ok buddy, I'm just being a nosey old bugger."
"Oh John, you're not old, I'd ah, you know?"
"No I don't know, what are you saying Benny?"
"Well I, uhm, wished you was my dad."
He threw himself at me and I felt the small sobs coming from him as I patted his back and tried to calm him down.
The last few details from Benny had given me a ray of hope for our future but I had a lot of checking to do yet so felt I could not say too much just then.
"Hey come on there, let's dry those happy lines on your face, then let me up so I can get ready for the movers."
One more little hug and he was off the bed as I threw the covers back and made ready for the day ahead, my hopes had just risen by a factor of ten, if what I hoped was true then after the dust settled with the DCYFS Benny might have a future.
Thanks to all of you people who have sent emails about this my second story, your reactions and advice have been outstanding and so positive that I don't think that even if I wanted to I could not stop this story from proceeding.
One point was made about the surnames being similar and yes you were right I can only put it down to senility or a blonde in my family tree somewhere and I promise to try harder for you (he he he) but your point was a valid and important one and I do appreciate all your trouble to make it.
Thanks again to all of you and I will try to answer all emails where there is a return address
After a shower and coffee the movers arrived and began to pack up the small contents I was taking with me and then, when they had left, it was off to see about Benny's suit and the supermarket to fill the empty cupboards of our new home.
Jim had outdone himself with Benny's suit, it was a dark charcoal grey with a fine pin stripe through it, the fit was perfect, the trousers a nice snug fit ( mmm the boy had the perfect butt for tailored pants) the jacket sat nicely on his shoulders giving him a very svelte look and the color brought out the life in his eyes.
When we arrived at the new home the movers were about to leave and I informed them they would be needed at the storage facility on the following wednesday for another load to which they agreed and then left us alone.
When we had brought all of Benny's clothes in from the car, where we had left them for the night to save the double handling, it was time to sort out the bedrooms and start to unpack and get the home set up for our comfort.
"Ok Master Chapman, which bedroom would you like?"
"Wich one are you having John?"
"I'm going to be greedy and take the one on the north east corner so I get all the sun in the moring, so wich of the others do you want?"
"Oh, that only leaves the one beside you (giggle) I don't want to be to far away just in case."
"In case of what?"
"Well you know just in case."
Ha ha the vagaries of the adolecent mind, I wonder what he'll come up with next.
"Right then let's get them settled and then it's time for a snack and we are out of here for a couple of hours."
When the dust settled behind him I could hear the drawers and cupboards opening and closing, paper being rustled and folded as he set to and put his room in order.
The existing furniture was well kept and reasonabley modern (early nineties) so there remained little to add from my stored chattels but personal items and a few kitchen utensils as I had over the years taught myself to cook and was, so I'm told very good at it.
As we sat eating our snack of cheese and crackers and milk for Benny, coffee for me I could see the wheels turning in his head as he tried to form a question, now and again glancing up at me from under his eye lashes, and then after five or so minutes he hesitantly asked me.
"I have to go back to school on Tuesday."
"Mmmm, we can see about that on Tuesday, ok?"
A thoughtful look came over his face then.
"I can't take all those clothes back with me to the home."
"Well they would ask where and how I got them."
"They might think I did bad things to get them."
"What do you mean by 'bad things'?"
"Well you know, 'bad things'."
"Mmm, ok so what do you want to do then?"
"Could I leave them here, then one day you might let me come back and wear them?"
"Yes, that seems ok, anything else?"
He lifted his eyes to mine and a small tear appeared in the corner of his left eye, the struggle in his mind written on his face.
could I have a hug?"
"Sure, come on."
I turned in my chair and held out my arms for him, and as he snuggled into them wrapping his around my neck, the front of my shirt became damp from the tears as he said,
"I don't want to go back there."
"I know son, but it's not time for that yet so let's wait and see what happens."
"I know it's only been a couple of days with you but I feel like I'm home."
"That's just how I feel as well, and it's a nice feeling."
"Yes it is, I like being here with you, John."
"I like having you here, son."
"Come on now buck up, let's go for a sight seeing tour in the city."
"Ok, I'll just go clean up a bit."
He was off and running before I could move, the sound of the water from his bathroom was the next thing I heard as he got ready to go touring.
This of course was not an aimless tour as I had something definite in mind that I didn't want to tell him as his response to surprises did my heart good to see.
As we drove toward the city looking at the people walking dogs and kids I looked over at this little vision that had come into my life such a short time ago and knew that nothing was going to take him away from me or put a barrier in front of his future.
"You ever been fishing, son?"
"Not really John, when I was smaller I went with a family to the beach and the man had a fishing rod, but he wouldn't let me use it cause I was to small."
"Oh, so you never been fishing, would you like to go one day?"
"Oh yes, but sitting on the rocks all day would be boring wouldn't it?"
"Yes, it could, but there's other ways to fish too."
"Well we could go out on a boat."
"On a boat, I've never been on a boat, I might get sea sick."
"I don't know, what if we went on a pretty big boat, that might be better don't you think?'
"Yes that might be better, but how do we get a big boat?"
"Well we could charter one, or if you like I have a friend who owns one."
"Really would he let us go out with him?"
"Well I suppose if I asked nicely he would take us out, would you like that?"
"Yes, oh yes, I'd love to go."
"Alright then we're near the marina, do you think we should go see if he's there?"
"Can we, pleeeease?"
"Ok, let's go look."
I pulled the car into the enterance of the viaduct marina and parked outside the storage office, got out of the car and waved Benny to follow me, the phone call had been made to them the previous day so they could go over the boat and check all was right to take it out when I wanted to.
The man behind the desk looked up as we entered and was about to speak when I lifted my finger to my mouth in a gesture of silence that Benny could not see and winked, he gave a small nod in acknowledgement and smiled at me.
"Good afternoon sir?"
"Good afternoon, I was wondering if I may have a look at the Riser?"
"By all means sir, would you like to go onboard, I have a key here?"
"That would be nice, thank you."
"Here we are then, just let me know if you need anything, I'll be here all day."
"Thank you I will."
As we walked out the door Beny turned to me and said.
"Yes he is."
This was not the time to tell him I had known Brian for about ten years, we had done a lot of fishing together over that time and had a friendly rivalry going on between us.
"Which one's your friends?"
"See down there at the end of the pontoon, the one with the blue covers?"
"Yes that's the one."
"No it's not huge, it's only 35 feet, but it's a good sea boat and great for fishing, I've been out on it a lot's of times."
"How old is it, it looks kinda new?"
"No it's not new, it's about ten years old but my friend looks after it well."
We stood on the pontoon looking up at the boat and I took great care to look over it and saw that it had been well maintained while it had been here, so all it needed to be ready for sea was fuel and the galley stocked up for us to have a couple of days out on what I call my sanity sanctuary.
The Riser was a Warwick 35 with twin 150 hp turbo yanmars, a nicely flaired bow for heavy going and lowered transom to make fish landing easier with duel game chairs set into the self draining deck, the anchor winch was power controlled from the bridge.
"You want to go have a look inside?"
"Oh yeah, it's so cool."
I began to undo the covers as Benny stood back and watched what I was doing, appearing to remember everything for later use, little did he know what I had in mind for the next few days.
Once I had the weather covers removed I jumped aboard motioning Benny to follow and unlocked the cabin area, as we entered I could smell the slight musty smell of being locked up to long but this did not worry me as it would not take long to air it out. I did a quick check that everything was in order then made my way up to the flying bridge with him close on my heels, eyes wide looking at all the toys and fittings on the bridge.
This had been my 'baby' for the last five years and I had had a refit to my own specifications so that I could when I wanted operate the boat alone.
All of my electronics were either Faruno or Hummingbird and I had also added both a VHF radio as well as CB and SSB, I like to be prepared for all emergencies.
The deapth sounder/fish finder and the GPS were Hummingbird and the radar was Faruno, as they were the best that could be bought here and had served me well while I had the boat.
"Well what do you think, son?"
"This's so great, when do you think he'd let us go out?"
"Why don't you ask him?"
Benny looked around for my friend thinking that he must have come on board while we were looking around.
"Where is he?"
His face was scrunched up trying to work out how to ask someone who was not there.
"Standing in front of you."
"It's yours, it's yours, you did it again, you tricked me again."
I was laughing so hard at the look of glee and inocents on his face I collapsed onto the pilot chair with my sides hurting. At last I was able to catch my breath as he dug his fingers in my ribs half wrestling as he tried to push me off the chair.
"Ok, ok, you win, when do you want to go out on her?"
"John, please can we go now?"
"Well not right away, I've got to get fuel and a few other things so, how about tomorrow, would that be soon enough, the weather forecast is good and we could go for a couple of days out to the Barrier and the Mercury's, sound good?"
"Oh, wow, yeah, but I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight, this is so awesome."
"Ok son, let's go see Brian and get him to sort it all out for tomorrow then."
"Yeah, yeah, John I can't wait."
Looking down at him I watched as he was bouncing around, hugging himself, running his hands over the control console, checking out all my electronic 'toys', holding the wheel and trying to turn it from side to side as though steering among some monster waves while rocking back and forth.
I left the covers off and we made our way back to the office so I could talk to Brian about getting her ready for the next day, I knew it was a bit short notice as usually they liked two days to prepare but knowing what Brian was like with his own kids I felt he would try his best to see my boy was not disappointed.
As I lay in bed that night I thought of the joy on the face of 'my son' and smiled at the thought of the next two days out with 'My baby and My boy', there was so much I wanted to pass onto him and hoped that he would get to love the sea as I did and learn to enjoy it's many moods and challenges.
I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard a small noise beside the bed and looking up saw Benny standing beside the bed looking down at me, dressed in his briefs with no vest.
"John? you awake. ?"
"Yes son. what's the matter?"
"It feels lonely in there by myself."
"What do you want to do?"
"Can, umm, can I, um, you know?"
"You want to stay here?"
"Yeah, can I stay here with you tonight, just tonight till I get used to the house?"
"Ok buster, come on, in you get."
He dived across me and burrowed down under the duvet on the other side of the bed, curling up into a ball with his knees and head resting on my back.
"Night son, see you in the morning."
A slight humming sound came from him as he settled down almost plastering himself against my back.
The first flood of sunlight sent it's shaft through the windows as I opened my eyes to a new day taking a moment to orient myself to the new feeling of the house and felt something stabbing me in the back that brought a smile to my face, 'oh well he was only 13 and it happens all the time at that age'. I turned around in the bed and gave Benny a nudge on the shoulder.
"Hey, Mister, I think it's time for you to go to the bathroom, don't you?"
He lifted his head up looking at me trying to work out what I was talking about, then the look on his face told me he realised what was going on and the red traffic lights began to blink on his face.
"It's ok son, happens to all of us, but you better go take care of it."
Diving out of the bed with his hands clasped over his morning hard on he ran for the bath room as I smiled at his disapearing back. The sound in the bathroom after a few seconds confirmed my guess.
I glanced at the bedside clock as I rolled out of bed and saw that it was only 6.00 o'clock and went into my own bathroom for the same reason as Benny and when I had washed up went to the kitchen for my morning eye opener and to get breakfast ready for the two of us. It was not long before he came in dressed as he had been the day before but with a different set.
"Did you sleep well, son?"
"Yes, it was the best sleep I've had for ages."
"After breakfast we have to pack a few extra clothes for the trip. It will be cold out there at night but it's the best time to fish while the sun is going down and for a couple of hours after dark and I don't want you to get cold, so you better get a few warm things ready, ok?"
"Yes ok, how long are we going for?"
"We'll come back Monday afternoon, so we'll have two days and I promise you a lot of fun."
"Awesome, what time are we going?"
"Oh, there's no hurry, just whenever we are ready."
"When will that be?"
"Soon as you like."
"Now, can we go now?"
"Ha ha, ok half an hour to get everything we need then we're out of here ok?"
"Yeah, I can't wait, im going to get my warm gear now then we can go, yes?"
"Ok yes go get ready, I'll just clean up here and we're gone."
He scampered off to his room as I cleaned up from breakfast and went to get some warm clothes for myself to take. I had never looked so forward to going out in the boat as I did at this moment, it made me feel like a real family man, my boy getting ready for his first fishing trip and the deep seated paternal feeling smiled from some where inside me giving me a nice glow.
Firstly to all the readers that have sent so many encouraging emails about this story I wish to say thank you all for it is people like you that make all the effort worth while.
I have recieved nothing but good reviews and advice from you all and frankly I am now writing most of this on a good buzz.
As we arrived at the marina that morning I looked out toward the harbour as the first rays of the rising sun sparkled on the water and a flash of another earlier sunrise flew across my mind on the day I was found wanting and then saved by the angel beside me.
I shrugged off the feeling that had come over me and took Benny into the cabin then the engine room to do the pre-startup tests, showing him how to check the engines and pumps. When all was ready we went up to the flying bridge ready for the engine start and warm up,
"Ok captain, start her up."
"Come on John, you know I don't know how to." (giggle).
"Ok captain, so how do you start a car?" (lifting one eyebrow).
"With a key." (giggle).
"So?" (lifting other eyebrow).
Hey there's no key?" (enlightenment).
"Oh, you mean one of these?" (finding keys in pocket, surprised look).
"I'm the captain, gimme the keys cabin boy." (giggle and stern look).
"Yes captain." (guilty look shuffle toes in carpet).
I sat back in the chair and watched as Benny looked over the dash board to find the ignition switches and then he looked back at me when he saw there was two of them.
"Hey, cabin boy?" (giggle).
"Yes captain." (half ass salute).
"Which one do I use?"
"Both of them, two engines, two keys, two ignitions." (lift eyes to the heavens and sigh).
"Don't get snooty or you'll be the new anchor boy soon." (giggle, another stern look).
"Yes sir." (to hell with the salute).
"Ok Benny, you have to start them one at a time, so put both keys in and turn the right hand one just a bit till it stops, that will do the pre heat for the diesel, give it about twenty seconds then turn it all the way till the engine starts, as soon as it's runing then do the left one the same, ok?"
I watched carefully as he followed my instructions to the letter and then the first engine roared into life and a look of sheer glee came over Benny's face.
"I did it, John, I did it."
"Hey, great little man, we'll make a boatman out of you in no time, now the other one just the same."
Soon both engines were purring under the deck so while waiting for them to warm up to running temprature I showed him how to switch on my toys and set them for the area.
"Ok Benny, now we go down below while they warm up and I'll show you where all the safety gear is and how to use it, but the main one is that I want you to always wear a life jacket unless you are inside or up on the bridge with me ok?"
I reached into a locker by the hatch and took out a jacket that would fit him, placed it around his shoulders zipping it up and adjusting the straps until it fitted him snuggley then explained how to use the safety features on the jacket and what to do in the case of an emergency.
"Want me to cast off captain?"
I looked over to the dock and saw Brian standing there with a huge grin on his face, I looked down at Benny lifting an eyebrow again.
"Well, he's talking to you captain?"
Reaching up to my ear Benny whispered.
"What's a cast off, John?"
"He wants to know if you want the ropes off the pointy bit in the front and the one from the flat bit at the back."
"Just say 'yes please Mr. Stevedore'."
"He he he, Yes please Mr. Stevedore."
By this time we were both up on the bridge laughing at Brian's antics with the lines on the dock as he pretended to make a complete mess of it for Benny's benefit as he kicked the bow out from the dock and made it look as though he was going to fall in.
I put the boat into gear and we headed out into the channel at the legal 5 knot speed limit. Benny's eyes were everywhere trying to see everything at the same time.
"John, why is this one not going?"
He pointed to the depth sounder.
"Oh, we won't need that one till we find a place to fish or where I think the water might be to shallow for the boat."
As we moved down the channel I began to explain the marker buoys and what the two different colors meant, where to steer and how to give way to other boats all the usual stuff to me but all new to Benny. God it was so great to have someone to pass the knowledge onto, just as I had always wanted to do.
"Ok captain, soon as we get out past the point there you have to call into the coast guard and let them know all about us."
"How do I do that, John?"
"It's ok buster, I'll take you through it when we get out there."
When we came to the end of the channel I turned the boat to starboard (that's right for you land lubbers) the first real tang of salt air hit our nostrils and the bow (pointy bit at the front) began to lift slightly in the small swell from the outgoing tide running from the channel entrance.
"Ok Benny, if you pull out that small drawer there you will see a plastic cover over some maps, there is also a felt pen, got that?"
"Yes I've got that."
"Good son, now write down what I tell you then I'll show you how to operate the radio."
"Good, that's right now write this down, "
"Auckland coast guard, repeat three times, then, this is motor launch Riser ZMR 2121 over."
"When they answer the same you then say, departing Viaduct marina, 2 POB for GREAT BARRIER, ETA Monday 1500HRS, over."
"When they tell that back to you then you say, roger out."
"Good son that looks right, now you get the hand piece of that radio close to you, hold the button down and just repeat what you have written down ther."
I watched as he followed all the instructions to the letter again as he reported our particulars to the coast guard without one mistake. I don't think I have ever been as proud of anyone as I was at that moment, anyone else hearing him would have thought he had been doing it all his life.
"Hey captain, that's the best report I've heard on the radio. You did really good."
I reached over and put my arm around his shoulder and he moved in closer to me with the look of a peacock on his face as I pushed the throttles until the rev counter was reading 2300 and the speed log was at 18 knots as we cleared the last limit markers.
I looked down at him as the breeze came over the dodger ruffling his beautiful brown hair and the unadulterated look of glee and pride on his face as he began to get the feel of the movement of the boat slightly flexing his knees for balance.
"John, this is awesome, how far are we going?"
As we came around Rangitoto Island (an extinct volcanic island, at least we all hope it is) I pointed out a large island on the horizon.
"That's where we're headed, that's the Barrier."
"Way out there, that's a long way?"
"No it's not that far, but I'm going to take it easy so you can see everything so it'll be about two hours."
We cleared the islands and headed out into the Hauraki Gulf toward the Barrier. The sun glinting on the water, that clean fresh smell of unpoluted salt air in our nostrils, gulls and terns swooping and diving over the surface of the water, this is what life is for, out here where everything feels alive and new.
"John, John, look, look, dolphins."
There on the bow wave was a pod of dolphins prancing and playing around the boat as we sped along.
"You want to see them closer, son?"
"Oh yes yes please."
"Ok then, when you go down the ladder you will see the safety line along the side, you hook yourself onto that with this lead and you can go right up to the bow and lay down on the deck and look over the front but keep one hand on the rail at all times, ok?"
With a yes, yes, yessssss and he was gone and down the ladder like a monkey while I made sure to keep an eye on his safety line attaching and his footwork on the deck. Benny's confidence was almost awe inspiring as he leapt and ran to the bow then laid down on the deck watching the dolphins no more than six feet [1½ m] from his position.
Watching him down ther yelling and shouting with so much glee and freedom made me realise what I had been missing all my life, this is what I should have had a long time ago, there is nothing in this world like a boy on a boat with the wind in your hair and shouts of pure joy on an ocean of blue.
Twenty minutes after the dolphins had left us and Benny had come back onto the bridge eyes glowing, cheeks ruddy from the wind and the excitement. I said to him.
"Son come over here on the other side of me, ok good, now look out over there to the right."
As Benny looked where I indicated a pod of five adult killer whales and two calves breached heading in the same direction as us.
killer whales, oh John they're awesome, look, look they're so close."
The look of awe on his face said it all, I think all of the boaties that use the water for recreation are like other people and become jaded to their surroundings with over familiarity until a kid comes along and makes us see it all again for the first time.
The whales breached again three times before disappearing and it was then I saw something that was going to make his day just up ahead of us, I pulled the throttles back and slowed the boat to 5 knots so we were just idling along.
"Look son, just up front there."
"See the three birds sitting on the water?"
"Yes, yes I see them."
"Wait till we get a little closer then look again."
"Oooohhh John, they're not birds, they're penguins."
I eased the throttles until we were out of gear and drifting closer and closer to the penguins and as the boat drifted past them no more than ten feet away Beny continued to ooh and aah.
"They're so small, I thought they were a lot bigger."
"No, those are the Little Blue Penguins, you'll see a lot of them around these waters."
At last as the boat drifted further from them I put the boat into gear and we continued on our way.
"Oh John, if nothing else happens today this is the most fantastical day I've ever had."
"Really, well if you feel so good then you better take the wheel while I have a rest."
"Can I really steer?"
"Yep, it's dead easy, just like driving your car."
"John, I'm not old enough to drive a car."
"Oh well, you steer this and then you'll be able to drive a car like driving a boat."
I rose out of the chair without another word and let go of the wheel and made my way back to the rear seats behind the steering station smiling at the picture of happy boy making a dive for the wheel as the boat began to veer off course at 18 knots.
"John John, what do I do?"
"Get the pointy bit at the front lined up with the island and keep her straight, easy as falling off your bike."
I watched the wake behind us as the boat zigged and zagged a bit then started to settle down into an almost straight line as he got used to the wheel and began to line up our coarse.
"Hey you're doing great son, just relax your hands on the wheel and feel the way it moves, don't try to force it, just nice and relaxed.
Yeah captain, now you got it, call me when you get tired."
"Oh awesome, god this is so awesome."
Who was the idiot that said kids today don't know how to have fun.
Later we anchored in south west bay for lunch then out to do some fishing for dinner, the joy of watching 'my boy' all day doing all the things he had never dreamed of just a week ago made my heart sing like a ten year old.
After catching a few nice snapper for dinner I moved the boat through the Colville Channel to the eastern side of the barrier for our cook up and later to do our night fishing on one of the many kelp beds and reefs that abound there.
By eleven o'clock that night Benny was tired out and he had caught his first snapper in double figure weight it was time to anchor up for the night in one of the many bays to let him get a good nights sleep as I planned to take him out to Cuvier Island to find a good Hapuka for him to fight with. The forecast for tomorrow was perfect for a drift across the foul out there.
Once the boat was secure for the night I headed down into the cabin to see a small lump in the middle of the double bunk and heard the light snoring of a very contented boy curled up in a ball. I think he was asleep before his head touched the pillow. I smiled down at this perfect vision, undressed and climbed in beside him and as I settled in he moved over to snuggle into me with a murmered "Night dad." and he was gone to the dream land of happy boys.
Monday dawned as impressively as Sunday had been and after breakfast was over and I sat in one of the game chairs in the stern Benny scrambled up top to start the engines warming and getting the boat ready for our next stage.
I had decided to make this his day and remained where I was seated as the engines came up to temperature and glancing up to the fly bridge said to 'my boy'.
"Ok son, take her out, no need to hurry, take your time and check everything as you go."
"You not coming up here to watch me, John."
"Nope, I feel lazy, besides I got a good captain he can do it."
"Really, just me up here?"
"Yep just you, captain."
Of course I kept a vey sly eye on him but let him just do what he thought was right and in no time the anchor was up and we were moving astern slowly to get enough room to turn the bow out toward Cuvier. Benny was a natural, checking his speed and distance, watching his instruments and then making his turn smooth and clean.
"I did it, John, I did it."
"Told you I had the best captain around."
"John, what was the engine revs again?"
"Ok, got that."
"Right head to the briney, matey."
"Aye aye cabin boy." (raucous laughter).
Finally the worst part of the day arrived, heading home from a perfect outing with the perfect boy. We stood on the bridge side by side as we set our course for home, an arm around each other, both of us I'm sure feeling that this was only the first of many trips to come.
"Benny, I think it's time to tell you that I'm going to make a phone call tomorrow and tell your school that you can't make it back till next week as your careguvers are away and you're staying in the city till they get back. Is that ok with you?"
"Would you, can I, oh John that would be neat if I could stay a couple of days more."
"Ok then, that's fixed, I don't think they will say too much as it's a short week anyway."
"Thank you John, thank you, it's all like a dream, really it is."
That night after returning to 'our' new home with the boat cleaned and tied up to 'our' warf we sat half dozing in front of the TV when Benny leant over and kissed me on the cheek.
"Thank you John, it was an awesome time, I wished you were my dad for real."
"No, thank you Benny. You've made me feel twenty one again and I never thought that could ever happen again, you're a very special young man."
"If the boat is here, how are you going to get the car from the marina?"
"The car's already here, Benny."
"Brian's wife brought it back here yesterday, it's in the garage."
"Oh, ok, I thought you had forgotten it."
"Not a chance buster, it would be like forgetting you and I would never do that."
"Ok time for bed, I think we have had our lot for the day, don't you?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Ok then let's go."
Lifting an eyebrow at me he asked.
"Same room ok?"
"Well if you're sure you're happy with that."
"Yay! last one in sleeps on the floor."
With me sitting and him standing who do you think was last?
The Dawning of The Age of Aquarius
I pushed open my eyes to see that it was only 6.30 and wondered what it had been to wake me at this hour. Even though for years I had been an early riser these last few months I had been lying in bed a lot more and it was unusual for me to be awake at this hour, maybe old habits were returning now that my former life was getting back on track and I had a reason to become more motivated, namely the one that was laying behind me trying to drill holes in my back.
Ahh enlightenment, that's what it was, the sureptitious prodding from my little friend and his early morning needs. I moved to lay on my back only to have him wiggle up close to my side again and by the look of his eyes he was still in dream land.
I know that at my age we should not be in this position and I could only reconcile it as feeling right somehow and without the sexual overtones although these were in the back of my mind and were somehow included, after all he was damn cute and so much in need of someone to love and protect him.
I had a lot to do today, and then I would have to prepare him for what I hoped would be a special meeting later in the week with my old friend in the DCYFS, if all went well then there would be a lot of changes for my cute little friend with the drilling rig.
I slid out from under the covers and after the usual morning flush out in the toilet I made my way to the kitchen, almost forgetting where it was in what I was now calling 'our' new home, to get my first eye opener of the day.
Once the coffee was ready I took it into the lounge and sat in front of the window looking out onto the bay and to my other 'baby' tied to 'our' dock as I sipped the hot brew, the thoughts of the type of business I could now start and how to best look after Benny's future.
A small noise startled me back to the here and now and as I turned toward the bedroom a vision from the gods appeared, small hands rubbing sleep from his eyes and preceeded by an in built flag pole about 4" [10 cm] long and pointing straight out in front.
An almost plaintive cry came from his soft red lips.
oh there you are."
"What's the matter, bud?"
"I woke up and you weren't there and I was lonely."
"It's ok son, come on, come over here."
Benny still in a half daze made his way over to me until he was standing between my legs still trying to see where he was, then he leaned into me and wrapped his arms around my neck and put his head on my shoulder.
I wrapped an arm around his slender back and then quietly said into his ear.
"Isn't there something you should take care of first, son?"
He leaned back a little to see my face.
I looked down at his flag pole waving around in the front of him, an embarressed look came to his face but not as bad as the last time.
"Oh, sorry, I'll just go to the toilet."
"Ok, you do that then come back, I like your hugs in the morning."
Benny took off to the bathroom and I got up to get another coffee and wondered if this was the time to start to talk about what I was going to try to do and to find out if it's what he wanted as well, although from earlier things he had said I was pretty sure he would want the same as I did, but, I had to respect his decsion and let him make the final commitment if that's what he wanted.
I turned back to the lounge expecting to see him come back all dressed and ready for the day ahead, instead there he was waiting beside the chair still in his small red briefs and as soon as I sat he was on my lap with arms around my neck and head on my shoulder and with a big sigh of relief settled down while I drank my coffee.
We sat there like that for about ten minutes and then in a soft voice Benny said.
"If I told you something terrible about me would you still want me to visit you?"
"Of course I would want you to 'visit' but I don't think there could be anything terrible about you."
"What if it was really
I felt that this was the time to let him know how I felt about him and I'm sure he was looking for some reasurance that I was not going to throw him away just because he had a secret that he thought was terrible.
I reached under his arms and lifted him around until he was astride my lap with a leg on either side and facing me, I then looked right into his eyes to let him know I was serious about what I was going to say.
"Benny, there's nothing about you that could be bad enough for me to stop you from being here with me anytime you wanted to be."
"But this is really bad."
"Ok, so tell me and let me decide how bad it is."
He dropped his head and his hands sqirmed in his lap as he tried to find the courage to tell me his terrible secret.
"John, the boys at school
you know uhm
I wrapped my arms around him as the tears began to fall and the sobs started to shake his shoulders.
it's ok little man, it's ok, they're just being mean to you, it doesn't mean that you are, it's just name calling, come on, sh
I gentley rubbed his back as he continued to sob and then as he settled down he looked up into my eyes again and burst into another flood of tears, then through the sobs he said.
"But John they're right, I am queer, just like they say."
it's ok," I kept rubbing his back.
"What makes you think that you're different?"
I hated that particullar name, it brought back to many unwanted memories from years gone by. With a last sniffle and wiping of his eyes he looked up again with a new determination now that his biggest secret was out in the open and he could see by the look on my face that I was not about to throw him out of 'our' house.
"I look at other men and I want to see them without their clothes."
"That doesn't make you the way you think you are, a lot of boys look at other boys when they are young like you, it's a part of growing up, it's quite normal, you'll probably grow out of it when you meet the right girl."
"You don't understand, John."
"It's not other boys I like to look at, it's older men. I want to be with them, you know, in that way, you know, in bed with them."
"Well you may be looking for a father figure, did you think of that?"
"No I don't want them to be my father, I just want to go to bed, you know, to do things."
"Is that how you think of me as well?"
"Oh no John, well yes, but no, I mean, I want you to be my dad, my real dad, but I want to
well you know, do more as well."
"How long have you been thinking like this, you know, about things like this?"
"Since I was about a year I think."
"Did you ever do anything, or were you just looking and dreaming?"
"Oh no I never did anything, it was just dreaming, but then when I saw you that night at the beach and you looked so unhappy, and I felt so unhappy at the same time, I just knew that you should be my real dad and I felt real good when you came out of the water and sat with me, then when you were worried about me and took me home so I wouldn't be alone I just knew it was you that I was meant to meet."
When he had finished he was quite breathless and collapsed back onto my chest heaving a huge sigh of relief that at last it was said, I held him tighter as a few more small sobs came and he clasped me tighter.
"John, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to be like this, but if you don't want me now could you lend me some money and I'll get a bus home so you won't be angry with me and won't have to see me anymore to make you ashamed of me."
I felt the tears running down my cheeks as this marvelous boy opened his heart to me with his greatest fears, then could only think of how I would be ashamed of him and never want to see him again, such a small boy with such a grown heart.
Benny, don't be upset, I know how hard it was for you to tell me those things and you must believe me when I say that it was the bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do, and don't you worry about it, there's nothing you could do, or be, that would make me want to give up on you."
Benny leant back again to look closer into my face to see if I was just being nice or if I really meant what I said.
"You really mean it, don't you?"
"Yes Benny, I really mean it, and now that you've told me, it's time for me to be more truthful with you."
"I'm like you, but I like younger men than I am. I have always known that, but the minute I was able to see you properly that night after I heard how you were living, all I could think of was having you for the son I never had. It's true that I would have liked to
shall we say
play with you, but I knew I could never do that to you, apart from being illegal, I would have felt I was taking advatage of your situation at that time, do you understand?"
"Yes John, you mean that you want me for your son, but does that mean even though I want to
ahh play with you that we can't?"
I gave him a big hug and cuddled him closer.
"I think we should just wait and see how things turn out for the moment, don't you?"
I really want to be your son,
but I really want to do more too."
"Benny, that's what I would like as well but I'm not going to do anything until we have a few things sorted out, so If you will be patient for a week or so and see what happens then I think we should sit down again and discuss this further, does that sound fair to you?"
"Yes John, that's fair, see you're just like the dad I always wanted to have."
I pulled him close to me again and gave him the best cuddle I could come up with and at the same time stroked his hair while rocking him a little.
"If you can become my son I'm going to remember this day as the proudest moment we have ever had and how brave you were."
"Do you really think I can become your son?"
"Well that's what I was going to discuss with you today. There might be a way for me to do it, I have a friend who owes me a few favours, he works for the DCYFS and if anyone can find a way he can, but it'll be difficult for you, you'll have to tell him everything about you and how you've been living at the foster home, but I don't think you should say anything about what we talked about today though."
"Oh John, if we really could, I don't care what they ask, I just want to be here with you."
"Hey look at the time, it's nearly 8.30, we better have some breakfast don't you think, what would you like, for being so brave today you can have anything you want."
A very pert and slightly sly smile came over his face as the cogs and wheels turned in his pretty little head.
"That's what I said."
"He he he, guess what we having for breakfast?
"What we having, son?"
With a wriggle and a a shout he said.
I laughed out loud tickling him on the ribs and as he sqirmed around on my lap I said.
"You monkey, you set me up for this, so who's paying, you still have plenty on your account there."
"Oh no dad, this'll be the second time and I don't have to this time, this one's all yours."
"I can see I'm going to have to keep an eye on you, monkey, ok this ones on me. Now off you go, shower and change, hey, in your room, I'm going to have to get cleaned up as well and this is no time to start saving water."
There was a flash of sun tanned skin and red briefs as he ran to his room. Well, I thought, it looks as though it's a go. Then it hit me, he had changed so quickly from calling me 'John' to calling me 'dad' that I had not even noticed, ahh the resilience of youth, but damn it felt good.
The Heat is On
I knew that from Benny's revelation to me, that there was no way that I could bring myself to take advantage of him in his vulnerable state and so pushed my previous thoughts of a closer, albeit a sexual contact, with him, to the back of my mind at this stage and concentrated on looking for the means to set his mind at rest as far as a future went.
This does not mean that all physical contact ceased, in fact it grew as we became used to each other and with our feelings out in the open we also were more comfortable with our many contacts.
He was starving for affection and bodily contact, a hug, a caress on his shoulder, or a kiss on top of his head, he took it all and clung to it almost in desperation for the years of loneliness and solitary desires.
To be able to look out of the window as I worked to put things together for him, and to create a self sustaining business for us both, watching him running and jumping about on the beach across the road from our home was the tonic I needed to spur me on to great heights.
We had discussed the meeting to be held on Thursday morning with my friend Max at the DCYFS and what it could mean for us in the future but I needed to stress to him that his sexuality was not to be raised at the meeting as there was only so much Max could do in the atmosphere of beaurocracy and that I was hoping for a fax to answer a question that had been dogging me since I had learned his full name.
Thursday, the day or reackoning had arrived, Benny came down the stairs dressed very smartly in the suit that Jim had hand made for him. Stunning was not the word for him when I turned and saw him, even the top models in the world would have been overshadowed by his startling good looks and dress sense, let alone the mature way he carried himself, and the determination in his eyes to make sure today was the success he wanted.
After breakfast it was almost time to get started, then as I was starting to close the door as we left I heard the fax machine begin to rattle, telling Benny to wait just a moment I went to check on the message.
I looked down at the message as it typed out of the machine, tore it off, then placing it in my pocket I went to Benny, unlocked the car and drover to our destiny.
"What was the message, dad?"
"Uhm well it was an answer to a query I sent out."
"Is it good news?"
"Well let's put it this way son, you can't call me 'dad', I'm afraid."
Just as Benny's jaw dropped and the first tears were beginning to make themselves known another driver cut us off in the lane and after swearing a little (a lot) at her I then became to engrossed in trying to keep us alive on the motorway.
"Hey, don't worry buddy, (damn idiot driver) I'll explain soon as we are alone, ok?"
Benny took a tissue from the dashboard, wiped his eyes and straightened up his suit as I tried to manouver the car down the lane to Max's office and find a parking place that would not result in us being towed away.
"I knew this would happen, it always does."
"Hey it's ok, it'll all work out, now let me park the beast and we'll go see Max. I'll explain it all to you soon, now don't worry everthing will work out, just tell Max what we talked about, ok?"
Damn I wish I had the time to explain but we had to get a move on to the office of bungles and bullshit. We were, due to the traffic, nearly late as it was. I reached out an arm and placed it over his shoulder to comfort him as we were jostled by the people trying to all get into a lift at the same time.
Max's office was open plan and he met me as we entered the reception area and I took note of the look in his eye and to me it said 'don't expect too much' as he reached out his hand toward me.
"John, long time?"
"Hi Max, yeah long time."
"And this must be Bently?"
"Yes, this is Bently, Bently this is Max ----, he's going to try and help us."
"Hello Mr. ----."
"Hello Bently, how are you?"
"Good, thank you."
"Well John, I need to speak to Bently alone for a bit, do you mind?"
"No Max, you two go ahead, but I would like to talk to you afterwards, ok?"
"Yeah sure, it won't take long."
That look again said 'not long to say no' but I knew I still had a couple of aces left and in a pinch there was always a little blackmail in the wings if needed. I was not going to loose Benny without a fight and if it meant getting down and dirty then so be it.
I had been sitting in the small lounge area adjacent to the reception for about ten minutes, looking out at the panorama of the streets below as the life's blood of the city hustled and bustled along the sidewalks, in and out of shops and offices when a very distinct loud voice yelled above everything else in the office.
"YOU DIRTY OLD MAN, HE'D NEVER DO THAT."
The crashing of a chair and a flying figure coming out of the alcove that they were both in told me that this interview was long over for Benny.
As Benny came running toward me I reached out my arms and he flew into them sobbing, holding me tighter and tighter by the second. I rubbed his back to calm him down as he let out all the pent up up feelings that this day had brought onto him.
I glanced around the office and saw everbody with a startled look on their faces as I continued to try to settle my boy down and as I did the rage began to build. I'm usually pretty easy going and do not fire up to easy unless something really gets my goat, this had got my goat so down and dirty it was going to be.
I got Benny into a chair just as a young girl brought over a glass of water for him and as he settled I told him to wait right where he was and I would be back soon, to which he gave a slight nod of his head as the girl sat beside him to help, she obviously had not been hardened by the bureaucrats yet.
I looked toward Max's cubicle and could see him standing there with a look of shock, horror and a little fear as he saw me coming toward him. As I got to him I didn't feel like being Mr. Nice Guy so just barreled in and to hell with the consequences.
"MAX, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"
"John, John, please, it's not what you think, please calm down."
"CALM DOWN, MY ASS, YOU UPSET THAT BOY, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO HIM?"
"John, I had to ask him some personal questions, without them there is no hope."
By now the whole office could hear us and the silence around the office was almost deafining.
"For god's sake calm down John, let me explain. '
I took a deep breath and lowered my voice.
"This better be good Max, any pissing about and I might remember october 1982." (first ace).
"Now come on John, you know there's no need for that."
"Then get on with it, I'm waiting."
"I had to ask him the usual questions about abuse and all that, it's standard proceedure you know that."
"As soon as I mentioned it he tore into me, you heard him, shit the whole office heard him."
"So you got your answer then."
"Look John I never had any doubt. I've known you for a long time but I have to do it by the book, otherwise it's a no go, as it is, it's going to be bloody hard to do anything, it's going to take about six to nine months to sort it all out as it is."
"Like hell it is, I want a decision by this afternoon."
"But I can't these things take time."
"That's all the time you got."
"John, for god's sake, I can't do anything that quick, you know how this department works."
"Yeah I've seen it on the newscasts."
"Now hang on John that sort of thing happens very rarely you know that."
"If it happens once it is to often, DCYFS people have sent battered kids back to the same parents again and again only to find them later in the morgue, no Max that boy is coming home with me today signed and sealed by you."
"John, I can't do it that quick without something more to go on."
I reached into my pocket for the fax (yes I could have done it earlier, but when the blood is up and I'm in the mood for a fight, well you get the idea) I handed it over to Max.
Max took the fax and began to read, his eyebrows lifted higher and higher as he read on, at last looking up at me.
"John, you bloody idiot, why didn't you give this to me before?"
"Must have forgot when you upset my boy."
"Bullshit, you set me up, just like the other times you've done it."
"Well, what are you going to do about it Max?"
"I have to check it all out and follow up on Bently's file but can you be back here, the both of you at say,
3.30 this afternoon?"
"Uhm. yes we can do that, I'll take Benny for some lunch, I have to tell him about that too, I haven't had a chance yet."
"You havn't told him, shit John you can be dense at times, no wonder he went off like he did."
"So you think this might be enough then, I didn't want to mention 1987 or 1993."
"Don't push it John, that lot was meant to be forgotten."
"If the decision is right at 3.30 they will be, permanently, fair enough?"
"Ok, stop rubbing it in, now piss off and let me get to work, see you both at 3.30."
"Ok, and, ahh, Max?"
"Thanks, thanks from both of us."
"Piss off noddy, see you later on."
I went to collect Benny from where he sat with the young girl and then lead him out of the office and over to the lifts. He was still broken up and trying so manfully to hold back the tears so I stopped and turned him around to face me.
"Benny I have something important to tell you, I should have done it before but with the traffic and then having to hurry so we weren't late I just didn't have time to do it properly."
"What is it, John?"
"Ok, just the short version now and then while we're having lunch I'll tell you the whole story."
"Right, the reason I said you you couldn't call me 'dad' was that I've found out that I'm your uncle. I'm your dad's older brother, well only brother I mean."
I stood watchiing his face move into a hundred shapes as he took in this new development and when he had it all sorted he looked up to me with a radiant smile, threw his arms around me and reached up to kiss me on the cheek.
"Uncle is ok, but I still like dad."
"And I still like, son."
"Ready for lunch now?"
"Yes, yes, at last it's happening."
"Ok son, it's lunch and I'll tell you the rest of it while we eat."
The lift arrived and we headed off for the best lunch date I'd ever had and now I knew for sure there was to be no more dark sandy beaches, my little vision was to important to even contemplate on the past anymore.
I'm a Believer
We found a nice little café for lunch and as we settled down I began to tell Benny the story of our family and how I was able to put it all together and get the varification of our relationship to each other.
"It's like this Benny, when I first heard your name I thought of it as a coincidence, but when you told me where you were born and that your father as far as you knew was a carpenter then I started to make enquiries, you see my younger brother was a change of life baby, you know what that means?"
"It means that he was born when my mother was a lot older than normal for her to have children, so that I was over twenty years old when he was born and I had moved overseas so I never actually got to meet him, although, I knew about him from letters home, ok?"
"Yes I see so far."
"Well not long after returning home from a long time overseas I went to see my parents and to at last meet my brother but when I got there they told me he had had an accident at work only three months before I got there and that his wife had taken off to another town, but they did not know where she had gone to, also they didn't know she was pregnant with you. So when they both died a couple of years ago, as far as I knew I was the only one left."
"So you didn't know about me then?"
"No, son, as I said, but if I had, I would've done everything in my power to find you and her. I'm truly sorry, if I'd known I could have saved you so much pain and suffering, I know how you felt all alone because that's how I felt when all the family had gone and I was the only one left, you see that's mostly why I was down on that beach that night."
"Yes I see now, loneliness is hard isn't it?"
"Yes it is, but now we have each other, and in a couple of hours it's going to be forever, so my nephew, you feel happier now?"
"Oh yes, uncle dad."
The relief and joy in his voice and the giggle were enough for me, this is what the worlds about, not the money or the power but to hear a boy laugh and giggle with such a feeling of belonging. Now we could both face the future together, no longer the last of a lineage that went a long way back and just maybe Benny's belief in being gay was just adolescent curiosity, there may be a chance for the family line to continue.
"So you had enough to eat?"
"Yes, that was plenty, what we going to do till 3.30?"
"I thought we might go shopping for something special, just to mark this day for both of us."
"But I don't need anything more, what will we shop for?"
"It's something I've been going to do for a long time but never got round to it, now I think the time is right."
"Ok, where too?"
"Why the jewelers?"
"Patience my nephew, patience, all will be revealed."
As we walked toward a jewelers shop I envisioned in my mind exactly what I wanted and was hoping that they would be able to complete it for us today, it would be a symbol of our family coming together again.
I had spent three hours the previous night researching our family history on the net and had all the details and drawings needed for the jeweler to copy so that the design was authentic but also blended our two blood lines.
At the jewelers I asked to see some signet ring blanks and after a few fittings found two that fit us to perfection in 18 carat red gold, then began to explian to the jeweler what I wanted to be done and if it were possible to have them set by later this afternoon.
"Yes sir, we can do that, the engraver is not busy today and the setting of the stones will not take to long so they should be ready
shall we say, 4.30, would that be satisfactory?"
"Yes that would be fine, thank you very much, we'll see you at 4.30."
"Thank you sir, they'll be ready."
Benny was hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation, and then looked up to me with a questioning look.
"Why rings, uncle dad?"
"Ha ha, son I think you better pick one name, it's getting confusing for me."
"Ok, I like dad, so it's going to be dad."
"OK, dad it is."
"So why rings?"
"Well you saw how the top of the ring was shaped like a shield?"
"Ok the design I gave him was our family crest."
"What's a crest?"
"It's from a long time ago, you know like the knights had on their shields in olden times?"
"Yes, so how did we get one?"
Well a long time ago, during the time of Queen Elizabeth I one of our ancestors was a captain of one of the ships under Sir Francis Drake, you know he was don't you?"
"Yes, kicked the butt of the spanish Armada."
"That's right, well when they had finished the battle as gesture of thanks the Queen knighted all the captains and that's how we got a crest and coat of arms, plus some land in Cornwall, which is where we originally came from."
"But why the stones?"
"That's easy, your birth stone is ruby, mine is saphire so they get set in the top right hand corner as a lucky charm for us and then the crest is engraved into the center of the ring and the koru around the outside to show that we are also of Maori heritage as well, it combines both or our blood lines."
"But dad, you look whiter than I do, why?"
"That's because I'm only one eighth Maori blood and your mother was also part Maori, so you have more than I do, see it's easy, besides you look a lot hotter than I do, he he he."
"Oh, dad, that's not true, I'm all skinny and only a kid."
next time take a good look in the mirror, kiddo."
"Oh, stop it, you make me blush all the time,
you really think I'm hot?"
"Hot as chili, my son."
As the time was getting on to 3.30 we made our way back toward Max's office building, joking and laughing as we went and also collecting a lot of strange looks from passers by but to hell with them was how I felt, this has to be the greatest day in my life, a new beginning for us both. Let them think what they like, Benny and I had each other and they could all go to the devil as far as I was concerned.
Max met us in the reception area, but instead of going over to his cubicle he took us down the passage to a private office where after closing the door he motioned us to take a chair each as he sat down behind the desk.
"How's your memory for past events, John?"
"Could be pretty bad, depending on what you're going to tell me."
"Well first the answer is, yes, next you are going to owe me big time for this and I don't mean only the loss of memory."
"Ok, so out with it."
"Everything is a go, but, and this is a big but, I had to pull so many strings right up to the minister, that if any of this gets out my ass is grass, you know what I mean?"
"Hmmm, had to go that high eh?"
"To get it done today I had too, yes, even through normal channels it would have taken 2-3 months, so you owe me big, my ring is still hanging out after the minister was finished with me."
"Ok, so what happens now?"
"As you are the only surviving relative of Bently you are his legal guardian, you two just have to sign all this lot and you walk out of here free and clear."
Max pushed a pile of papers toward us and we began to sign where he indicated, when all was done Max got to his feet extending his hand to Benny.
"Well Bently, he's all yours, hope you have better luck with him than I do."
"Yes Bently you are now legally tied to that old reprobate."
Benny let go of his hand with a whoop to scare the devil with and rushed into my arms before I could get up out of the chair.
"It's happened, at last it's happened, dad I'm so happy."
"Well, didn't take you long to con him, did it John, by the way how is the memory?"
let me see, funny can't seem to remember anything before walking in this door, funny that, the way your mind goes blank at times."
"Yeah right, John, but I think a day or two out on your boat with some friends might help go a long way to fix my aching ass after the kicking it got today,
"Yeah I think that can be arranged, and thanks Max, for everything, I'm sorry I was such an ass hole this morning."
"It's ok John, by the look of him it was worth it."
"It was Max, it certainly was."
"What you think captain, you want to invite Max and his friend out for a trip on the weekend?"
"Yes, oh yes, I think that's a good idea, cabin boy."
"Ha ha, at last someone to put you in your place, see you on the weekend then."
Max, really thanks, from both of us."
"It's ok, just remember you're going to pay for this for some time bud."
"Yeah well I'm used to suffering, but if you get to heavy then I set Benny on you."
"Ok, get out of here you two, some of us have to work for a living."
So saying we left the office, my arm around Benny's shoulder, his arm around my waist and made our way down to the street, once there, headed for the jewelers to pick up our rings and start our life anew.
Red, Red Wine
As we pulled into the driveway Benny was still looking at his signet ring with awe, twisting it on his finger then rubbing it gently as though it was not real.
"Dad, this is really us, isn't it?"
"Yes son, it's a part of us, but mainly it's to remind us of where we came from."
"It's so cool to have a real family and a real background."
I parked near the front door and turned to see Benny looking at me with a perplexed expression on his face.
"What is it, son?"
"I have to go back to Banktree tomorrow, don't I?"
"Let's talk about it inside, ok?"
We went into the house and as I went to the kitchen for something to drink for us both Benny said.
"I'm going to change, I don't want to ruin this suit."
"Ok kiddo, you want a coke?"
"Ok bud, you go change."
I removed my jacket and tie after getting the two drinks and made my way to the lounge, opening the curtains and sitting in one of the chairs to look out on the bay as I waited for my now, new son to come back. I knew we had to face the couple that had been looking after Benny in Banktree but something did not sound right to me in the way they had been treating him, so I thought it would be best to get the full story from him before we went down there. The sound of running foot steps broke my train of thought and as I looked toward the scampering figure I felt as though the breath had been knocked out of me. Benny appeared in front of me with a very small tank top showing all his midriff. God he was so delectable I could have eaten him there and then, and with the tight league shorts on his butt was mouth watering. As he came across the room he didn't slow down but made a bee line for my chair giving me just enough time to get ready for the crash as he piled into my arms.
"Thank you for everything dad, I love you."
So saying he then planted a wet smoochey kiss on my mouth and hugged me tight, puting his head down onto my shoulder.
"How long will I have to stay with the Wilsons in Banktree before I can come live with you permanently?"
"Mmmm, yes, well it'll probably have to be for about a whole hour, I would think."
"Really, that's so cool, but why do we have to go at all?"
"Well that's what I wanted to speak to you about. I have a feeling that they were taking advantage of you, so I want you to make a list for me this afternoon of all the chores you had to do and what they paid you, or told you what they were for, ok?"
"Yes, well one part is easy enough."
"What's that part?"
"The pay, they didn't pay at all, they said it was to help with the cost of looking after me."
"What were the chores you did then?"
"Well when I finished school I had to go to Mr. Wilson's factory. He makes kitchen sets, and help the other workers in the factory assembling kit sets and then help to clean up the factory at the end of the day. Then at 7.00 o'clock we would go home and I would have to do the laundry and help in the kitchen, after dinner I would do the dishes and finish the laundry then go and do my home work. At 10.00 o'clock Mr. Wilson would take me back to the factory to clean the offices and then we would get home at about 2.00 am, so that's why I was tired all the time and slept on the bus."
"How many days a week did you do all this?"
"Everyday but not Sunday, that was my day to do the lawns and garden."
"So Wilson had you working in his factory for more than 40 hours a week and then at home as well?"
"Yes, I suppose that was about it."
"Ok, kiddo, when you've given me another cuddle and had your coke I'd like you to go and write it all down for me."
"All of it?"
"Yes Benny, just like you told me."
Benny reached for his coke still scrunched on my lap, took a drink then turned and carried out the rest of the request with a full body smooching cuddle. As he hugged I began to rub his bare back under the tank top, the feel of velvet skin almost made me forgeting what I now was to him and as he wriggled his groin closer into me it was almost too much.
"Hey buddy let me breathe a bit?"
"I love you dad."
"I love you to son, but now it's time to get those things written down, so off you go and bring it to me as soon as you've got it done, ok?"
"OK, don't go away, I want another cuddle when I've finished."
"Any and all the cuddles you want, son."
Benny took off to his room to do his notes as I reached for the telephone, looks like Max was not finished yet and my lawyer was going to have to burn the midnight oil as well. I'd just finished talking to the lawyer when a pair of very sexy arms were around my neck squeezing tight.
"Here it is dad I've finished."
"So by the look of this you've been working in his factory from the first day you went there?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Do you know how many hours you've done for free for him?"
"No, never thought about it, he said it was to pay my way."
"Well son you've done about 4200 hours for him in the last two years and the youth rates here are $7.20 gross. so that means he owes you about, hmm let's me see now,
just a little over $15,000.00 less tax."
"Wow, but he said it was to pay my way and he didn't need to give me money."
"His business is a comercial enterprise and he has to pay wages to anyone that works for him, it's the law."
"But it was for looking after me, they said so."
"Son, the DCYFS pays them for your keep. You don't have to work for it, they owe you and I'm going to see that you get it. It's yours by law, did they give you any pocket money?"
"Not really, only at Christmas, they'd give me $20.00 for a present, but I usually spent that on presents for the other kids."
"So you got no weekly pocket money?"
"No, not really like that."
"Ok, you leave this with me for the moment, now what do you want to do while I'm on the phone?"
"Ha ha ha ok, but give me room to breathe."
"Ok, but just a little."
Have you ever tried to talk business when you are covered in cuddling bare fleshed boy especially when a certain part of him was poking quite hard at you stomach, and your neck is being attacked by flashing white teeth, not easy but I'm learning to put up with it, us new dads have so much to learn.
That night as I lay in bed thinking, still half covered in now almost naked boy I hoped that the lawyer would come through in time and that Max was able to get the paper work done for me before we left at midday for Banktree. Next to me Benny was holding close to me, and then with a sigh he asked.
"As you aren't really my dad, you know, like blood dad."
"You mean that sort of stuff?"
"Yeah, I want to do something with you."
"Son, I don't know if that's a good idea, I mean I'd love to but, well, you're my responsiblity now, it's different."
A saddness came into his voice with an almost sob in it.
"Does that mean you don't love me then?"
"God no son, I love you more than life it's self, it's just I don't know if I'd be comfortable doing,
ahm, stuff with you."
"But what if it's what I want to do?"
Again the almost sob was in his voice as he pulled closer to my side. I disentangled myself from him and sat upright in the bed but still with my arm around him as he shuffled into a new position against me.
"Listen Benny, from the moment I was able to see you clearly there was nothing else on my mind than wanting to have, ahh, fun with you and do stuff, but when I found out we're related, well I'm a little oldfashioned and I don't know if I can handle it."
"But really I want to, it's not all the things you've done for me, it's just, well that first night when you took my hand down at the beach, I sort of,
ahm got this electricity sort of feeling. I don't know how to say it right, but I sort of tingled all over, and well you know, you sort of felt good when you touched me, now you let me sleep in your bed and every night I want to, you know, sort of touch you, ahhm, I want you to touch me all the time too."
"Son, I think I know what you're trying to say, but you have to remember that the law here is 16 and apart from that the law on people who are related is even harder. Truly I would love to do nothing else but make love to you, it's just hard for me, it's the way I was brought up, I'll tell you what we can do, next week I'll buy us a computer and we will go on the net and see if we can find someone to help us, does that sound reasonable?"
"But dad, I really need something now, it's been so hard to not do things."
"Look son, if you really want to I will do something for you now ok, but it's only this once till we can get some help ok?"
"Ooh yes please dad, please?"
"Ok, now lay down on your back and I'll try to make it real special for you."
Benny lay down and as I turned onto my side facing him he threw the blankets down until they were around his knees, his slim little waist flat and almost panting, his hips were covered only by the briefest pair of briefs, his erection hard and demanding as it tried to poke a hole in the cotton fabric. I began to run my fingers lightly down his chest from his throat to his nipples, then running the tips of my fingers over those little nubs, massaging them until they became taut, his stomach began to be covered in goose bumps as he started to squirm and pant, a wet spot appeared on his briefs as his 4½" [11 cm] hard on twitched and pulsed.
Benny began to moan and his head thrashed from side to side as I trailed a finger down to his navel digging in a little as I reached it, his hips thrust upward to meet me, the wet spot grew larger as his hips ground harder and harder upward, tracing a line just above the elastic waist of his briefs from one hip to the other I could feel him leave the room to a place of his own as he moaned and ground under my ministrations.
At last I began to ease off the cotton fabric, lowering them down his legs as he muttered 'yes, yes, yes', when they were completely off I worked my way up the inside of his left thight kneeding the flesh, so young and fresh, then across his small tight ball sack to the other leg and did the same. By now he was in orbit, it was nearly more than I could handle just to keep him on the bed as he writhed and twisted about. After finishing with his thighs I ran my fingers up to his small sack, tracing the outline softly until I reached the stem of his rigid penis as it pulsed and dripped pre-cum down its length.
"Please daddy, Please, I need you now, please daddy."
How could I refuse, my boy, my son was beside himself, every nerve tingling, crying out for relief, so I lowered my head and took him deep into my mouth until his soft downey pubic hairs pushed against my lips and then used my tongue to taste him for the first time. The thoughts of right and wrong long gone from my head as I worked to feel his innermost being ejaculate into my mouth, to be tasted and devoured like god's nectar. It took less than a minute for him to send his sweet offering to me, letting out a yell loud enough to wake the neighbours as he shot his load deep into my waiting mouth.
Benny was shaking so bad that the tears were coming into his eyes as he panted and colapsed back onto the bed sated and exhausted with I assume was his first real sex of any kind.
"Are you ok, son?"
"Oh daddy, I love you so much, that was, I don't know, it was, well, it was, oh god, so great."
"Ok son time to sleep, we've got a big day tomorrow."
"But, but, what about you, you didn't get anything from me?"
"You don't have to worry about me honey, you gave me all I needed, now sleep, ok?"
"Yes dad, thank you so much, that was the first time anyone has done something for me, I love you."
With those words he cuddled up as close as he could get and was instantly asleep, purring like a little kitten, pulling in as close as he could get, my raging erection would have to wait. I could not bring myself to disturb him now. As the thoughts of what I had just done began to prick my consience I pushed it to the back at the thought of the enjoyment he had gotten from the experience and decided to fight that battle with myself some other time. Tomorrow was going to be another big day and I could almost imagine the battle that was to come from his previous hosts.
Dreams Are Made of This
I was startled awake in the early hours of the morning with an oppressive weight baring down on my chest making it hard to breathe and in that state of not quite alertness I reached out to grasp something, anything to help me to breathe again. It then dawned on me that the weight on my chest was all live hot boy flesh, I'm damned if I know how he got to be there.
I looked down and saw that Benny had during the night somehow moved to be on top of me in a full body hug, his legs were down between mine, his small, now limp bulge was resting on mine and his body was laying up on top of me chest to chest with his face pushed hard into my neck, his arms wrapped around and under my shoulders as though holding on for dear life itself.
I carefully reached down to untangle this human vine from my skin and looked over to the clock as a small voice mumbled out.
"Love you dad
Back to noddy land he went, it was only three oclock in the morning and I was in no mood to get up yet but at the same time knew I would not get back to sleep so I just lay there feeling my boy next to me and thinking about the upcoming meeting with the foster parents. Today was Friday, I like to end the week with a fight, makes you relaxed on the weekend.
I must have drifted off even though it was not like me to go back to sleep once I was awake but then I hadn't had a loving boy beside me before either. I woke again to the smell of coffee and a soft kiss on the lips.
"Morning Dad, thought you might like a coffee in bed today."
"Thank you son, this is great, can I laze here all day?"
"Ok dad, can I laze in there with you?"
"Mmmm, you trying to get me into trouble, young man?"
"In that case I better get up, I don't like to get into trouble on a Friday."
Of course this didn't stop him from piling into bed anyway and snuggling up close to me, yep he was just like a clump of ivy, attaching himself to me with arms and legs and his head on my shoulder trying to look up into my face.
"Love you dad."
"Love you to son, you going to let me finish this excellent coffee my servant bought me?"
"Oh, so I'm just a servant now, oh well might as well go and get breakfast then."
"Come here you?"
I reached out before he could move and grappled him in close and gave him a hug and a smooch on the nose as he wriggled and giggled in my arms.
"You'll never be a servant son, not as long as I live."
"I know that dad, that's why I love you so much."
"From now on you're going to have all the time in the world to be a boy for a change, no work, no chores unless you want to do them. This is your time to have some fun out of life. We've got this house and car, also the boat down there and they're for you to have fun with, which reminds me, you need to get to school from here so I'm going to give you a choice as to how you get there."
"What's the choices, dad?"
"Well you're thirteen, so which would you like to do, I can buy you a ten speed bike now to get to school or if you want to wait one and a half year till you're fifteen and use the bus or let me drive you, then I'll buy you a small motor scooter instead, so which do you want?"
"You'd get me a motor scooter?"
"Yep, at fifteen you can get a license for a 50cc bike and if you're happy with that for a year or two then if you still want a bigger one I'll get one for you."
"Dad, you're so cool, I'll wait for the motor scooter."
"Ok, it's a deal then, now let's get some breakfast for you and then see if all the papers have been faxed through."
Benny reluctantly untangled himself and got out of bed as did I, and after a visit to the little boy's room to ease the built up preasure in my bladder, I went into the kitchen to make his breakfast. While I cooked, Benny spent the time zooming around the lounge on his soon to be scooter, weaving in and out of the furniture and when I called that breakfast was ready he came screaching to a halt in a make believe rear wheel slide to the table.
Benny sat and opened the nozzel of his vacuum cleaner and inhaled the breakfast that should have killed a grown man, then sat back in his chair, stomach bulging, a little egg yolk on his chin and a blush on his cheeks as he let out a deep contented sigh.
"Want some more, hollow legs?"
"Oohh no, I think I overdid it a bit."
"Looks that way from here, here's your juice, you sip that while I go see if the papers are here."
My lawyer had been working late by the look of the time and date on the fax sheets (3.30am) but everything was there and it looked quite impressive, especially the amount she had decided to demand for the breaches that the family had made, as she had put it, pay the extra or we'll see you in court, then the labour court after that and also we'll send a copy of everything to the DCYFS. She's a bit of a hard nut when it comes to kids' rights. Max had sent his copies as well which would serve to back up the threats from the lawyer so the family was up for quite a tidy sum and I'd have it invested for Benny until he turned 18 and it would give him a good nest egg to start his life with.
"Ok son, everything is here, we'll get cleaned up then take off about midday for Banktree. By the time we get there they should be back from their holiday and nice and tired as well."
"Ok dad, I'm going to shower."
"Right you are, I'll have another coffee while you're in there."
"You not going to scrub my back?"
"Nice try kiddo, but not this time."
"That's it mister, keep pushing, you might end up with a tanned rear."
"Ohh dad, you wouldn't,
"Go on scamp, shower."
I laughed as he started his scooter again and roared out of the kitchen for the shower. What a blessing he was, I hadn't felt this young for years, as I sat there ideas and plans ran through my mind for our future not least of which was a business plan that I could now afford to put into gear so that we would have a steady income and not use all of the settlement I'd got just for living costs, I'd already invested a certain amount but the dividend from it was on ninety days but I could always use it for a surety if needed for the business. I sat a little longer thinking and when I heard the scooter start again made my way to the bathroom for my shower.
At 11.30 I made us a light snack to see us through for the trip and then gathered all the paper work I'd need for the upcoming meeting then checked that Benny was looking sharp and ready for the trip. He had dressed himself in the brown and tan outfit that he'd worn the first time to Del's, god he looked delicious. Then it was into the car and head out of the city, the trip would take about two hours if there was no hold up's from the traffic, but that shouldn't be a problem at this hour of the day and so it turned out as forty minutes later we were leaving the motorway and headin down the Thames Valley toward Banktree.
Benny sat silently beside me, a look of apprehension on his face as we got closer and closer to our destination.
"You going to be ok, son?"
"Yes dad, it's just I'm a bit nervous."
"Everthig will be ok, don't worry, I have enough here in these papers to scare the hell out of them and just remember, they can't touch you now kiddo, for better or worse we're a pair now."
"Thanks dad, you always know how to make me feel better."
"That's what I'm here for, son."
by 2.45pm we were pulling into the small country town of Banktree and Benny showed me where to go to find the house, pointing out on the way the factory. It was not small so the guy must have a good business, as far as I was concerned he could afford to pay up today. I was not in the mood to be fobbed off, not today, not tomorrow and definitely not ever.
As luck would have it a four wheel drive and trailor was pulling into the driveway as I parked out on the roadside. I waited and watched as two rather overweight adults and three children who by the look of them were not conceived by these two, got out of the vehicle and as the man started to yell out instructions to the others, Benny and I got out of my car and began to make our way toward them.
"So there you are, where the hell you been, boy?"
"That's enough of that, Mr. Wilson."
"And who the hell are you?"
"My name's John Chapman, as of 3.30 yesterday I'm the legal guardian of Bently, also I'm his uncle. You want to talk here or inside?"
"Nothing to say to you Mister, boy help unload the car."
"OK, we talk here then, Benny is now legally mine so you can forget about running him ragged as from now."
"Says me, Wilson, I have here papers from the DCYFS also from my lawyer. Now you want to do this the easy way, or you want to do it my way?"
"You and who else's army, shorty?"
Wilsom put out his hand to push me back, the old training cut in before I even thought about it, grabbing his thumb I bent it back and twisted while kicking his leg to take him down onto the grass on his knees.
"You ready to listen yet?"
"Yeah Mister, yeah, shit let me go you're breaking my thumb."
"Then be an adult about things, Wilson."
I released the man and stepped back as he got to his feet holding his thumb in his other hand.
"What you want, Chapman?"
"Everything you owe to Benny, my lawyer says with the penalties it comes to 34000.00 dollars."
"Like hell it does."
"It does, here's the itemisation for you, sure you don't want to talk inside?"
"You not going inside my house, Chapman, and I'm not paying that little prick a cent."
"This is your last chance Wilson, you pay him now including the penalties or within twelve months I'll force a mortgage sale of your house, what you want."
"You can't do that?"
"34000.00 dollars is cheap and you know it. We give all the details to the labour tribunal and the DCYFS and you'll have to sell your factory to pay the fines. Here look at these papers, then tell me again to piss off. You got five minutes, we're going back to the car, call when you've made your mind up. By the way, I've got copies of all those papers so don't worry about trying to destroy them. Five minutes, Wilson, then I'm driving out of here."
I pushed the papers into his hands and turning took Benny by the arm and returned to the car. We got in and as I sat and fumed a little more at the arrogance of the man. Benny turned to me asking.
"Do we really leave if he doesn't agree?"
"Yes Benny, and as we leave I'll make a phone call to Max and he'll have so many people all over his house in less than an hour Wilson will think it's mardi gras. But don't worry kiddo he's just a typical bully, picks on those who can't defend themselves, don't you worry he'll pay soon as he see's those letters."
"Ok dad, gee I didn't know you could be all rough like that."
"Everybody can when the time is right son and when it comes to looking out for you I can be one of the worst."
I looked over toward the house and could see the two of them arguing and then Wilson's shoulders dropped as his wife threw up her hands and turned to go into the house. He looked over to my car looking beaten, his head down and as he looked at me he nodded his head taking out a pen from his pocket and began to sign the papers, I got out and made my way toward him, telling Benny to stay in the car.
"Here you are Chapman, the wife's getting the cheque book now."
"No cheques Wilson, here's my phone ring your bank and get them to issue a certified cheque in your name. I'm not having you cancel it as soon as my back's turned."
"Don't trust me?"
"No, here's the phone now make the call."
With the call made I took the papers from his hand and returned to the car smiling to myself, I love Fridays. We made it to the bank just before closing time, picked up the cheque and returned to the car to make our way home. A good day's work done and my little Benny getting his just reward for years hard work.
"Here kiddo, this belongs to you."
"Hey, is this really mine, all of it?"
"All of it, son."
"What do I do with it?"
"Well a young guy like you could spend it on all sorts of thigs he ever wanted, toys, games, anything, or he could be grown up and invest it till later when he's older and have a tidy sum to start life with. It's up to you, it belongs to you. What you want to do?"
"I want to give it to you to look after for me, you know what to do, it's too much for me."
"OK invest it then?"
"Yes that's the best thing, I think."
"Ok, that's it then, but I think we should take out the extra $4000 and let you have fun with it, just to celebrate with, ok?"
"That's a lot to celebrate with, dad."
"It's for you to spend how you like Benny, have fun with it, that's what money's for mostly."
"Ok then, we have fun with it."
"Not we, it's for you to have fun with."
"But if it's 'we' then I'm having the best fun."
"Ok kiddo, I'm not going to argue, it's yours to do with what you like."
"Good, then the first thing is I want to shout you pizza tonight."
"Ok pizza it is."
I turned the car toward home with one happy and now rich boy beside me, heading for a double everything pizza.
We Built This City
Have you ever got home in the early evening and been smothered with affection and been offered attentive and loving service by a teenage boy you would die for? I know it sounds hard to take but what could I do about it but sit back and enjoy, what else?
A nicely chilled beer appeared at my elbow (with a hug), a clean ashtray (with a smooch on the neck), and from somewhere a plate of small snacks (another hug), then a boy in my lap with his head on my chest and a sigh of happiness as he settled down and we both watched the sunset through the lounge window. The sea settling down from the light winds of the hot day, as I glanced down to where the boat rode beside the jetty I remembered that we had promised Max a trip this weekend.
"Hey buster, what time we having dinner?"
"Oh, any time you want it, it's just this is so peaceful and I feel really great now we've settled everything at last. I just want to sit here and be with you for a while before we order the pizzas."
"Ok, that's not a problem. I'm in no hurry either, you know Max is meant to be coming for a fishing trip tomorrow?"
"Oh yes, I'd forgotten that, what time will we be going?"
"You is the captain kiddo, what time you say?"
"How long are we going out for?"
"How about an overnighter?"
"What all of us stay in the boat all night?"
"Yep, we go out a bit later than normal and head for the Mercury Islands and come back Sunday afternoon."
"Hey that'd be cool."
"So what time, Cap'n?"
"Nine o'clock, is that ok?"
"You're the captain, nine o'clock it is. I'll ring Max later and let him know, then we'll have to make a list of everything we'll need for the weekend for four people."
"Yes, Max will be bringing his friend with him. You'll like Steven he's a good kid, well teen more like it."
"How old is he?"
"Let me see now, uhm, 15 I think."
"Oh, he's nearly the same age as me then, is he, ahh, you know, sort of Max's really close friend?"
"I don't know, all Max ever told me was when he saw Steven's file on his desk and what the kid had been through in various homes, much like you but a lot worse. Well Max just used his position to take Steven out of the system and has been looking after him ever since then. I think it's been about two years now, you'll like him he's a great kid and very polite, and considering what he's had to go through it's a wonder he survived at all."
"Do you think he'll like me?"
"Hey buster, everybody loves you so why not him?"
"Oh, stop it dad, you'll give me a big head."
"Good you deserve a big head, right you want to go order the pizza, just tell them what time you want it delivered, it doesn't need to be soon just when you think you'll want it, then I can call Max about the time tomorrow."
"Ok, does 8 o'clock sound ok for dinner?"
"Yep that'll be great."
Benny jumped off my lap and went to make his call while I went over in my mind what we would need for the trip and at the same time hoping that he and Steven would get along. They had so much in common and I must admit that Steven was a nice looking boy, the last time I'd seen him was before my downfall but he'd been with Max for nearly a year and was developing into a really nice well rounded lad. He was then about 5'3" [1.60 m] tall very slim but with a look about him that he would one day fill out to something better. He had brown hair cut as they do today, close in the back and sides and medium length on top, but he also had a small rats tail plaited at the back, his eyes were green with a very small slant upwards and his nose was aquiline and straight with a bit of a pert button look about it, his mouth could almost be called alluring, altogether a very nice looking lad.
"I've ordered dad, I told them 7.30 to make sure they're on time."
"Good boy, I'll go call Max, then I might have another beer and watch the lights come on over the bay, you want a coke to?"
"Thanks dad, but I'll get them while you're on the phone."
"Now dad, don't you start or I'll have to quit my day job."
"You don't have a day job."
"Yes I do."
"Really what's that?"
"I look after elderly gentlemen that are too old to do it themselves."
"Come here Mister cheeky, I'll show you old."
Benny scampered off to the kitchen laughing as I made a half hearted lunge at him, his voice coming back over his shoulder as he went in the door.
"See, too old, too slow."
"Yes but very patient, you have to come back some time, cheeky."
I went and made the call to Max and he was happy at the arrangement and said he would see us early and that Steven was looking forward to meeting Benny and going out on the trip. I hung up the phone and went back to watch the lights coming on around the bay as darkness fell only to find my chair taken up with a bare boy butt stuck up in the air, head and shoulders in the seat of the chair and knees on the edge, that little butt waiting for me.
"Hmm. what's this then, looks like a butt needs slapping?"
A muffled voice came out of the chair.
"The boy under it was cheeky, he needs a lesson I think."
"Mmmm, yes he does, now let me see, should it be twenty or thirty whacks?"
A head shot up from the depths of the chair, eyes wide.
"Aww dad, I wasn't that bad."
I stopped looking down at him and took a half hearted swat at his rear end and as I made contact I laughed at the squinted eyes as my hand came down, and then a smile appeared as the slap was just a light tap.
"I think that should sort him out for the future, what do you think, cheeky?"
Benny bounced up onto his feet pulling his pants back up laughing, then wrapping his arms around my waist in a huge hug.
"Thanks dad, you're the best, it's just what that cheeky sod needed."
"Good, then that'll keep him in line for the weekend with the visitors."
"Yes I think he'll behave now." (giggle, hug, smooch).
I finally made it into my chair still wrapped in 'THAT' boy and we settled down to watch over the bay. At 7.30 the door bell rang and our dinner had arrived, all three of them, how two of us were going to eat three pizza's had me beat, but I forgot Benny's vacuum cleaner apetite. At the end there were only two pieces left and as I couldn't move with what I had overeaten then I was sure that Benny would lay there all night on the sofa.
"You eat like that everyday buster, you're going to be big and fat in a week."
"Never, I'm all bones."
"Yeah, hollow ones."
"Ok, ok, you win."
At 10 o'clock we decided to call it a night and head for bed. It was going to be a long day tomorrow if he wanted to get going at 9.00 am, we'd have to be up early to get some shopping done and then pick up the ice and bait and check the boat out. I didn't have to worry about fuel as it was my habit to fuel up as soon as I returned from a trip, that way the boat was always ready and the chances of having contaminated diesel in the tanks was cut down when they were kept full.
6am the next morning dawned bright and clear, it was going to be a great day to be out on the water and as soon as I got the vine untangled from body I could get up and start to get ready to enjoy it with my son and friends.
"Come on kiddo, time to get up and let your old man start on business."
"Morning dad, love you."
"Love you too sonny-jim, but its time to move, we've got a lot to do."
"Ok, who showers first, or are we going to conserve water?"
"You really want me to scrub your back, buster?"
"Yes please dad."
"Well this time, ok, just because we're in a hurry."
"Yaaay, come on then."
We went to the shower and true to my word I scrubbed his back and front but not any further, he looked up at me, wanting me to go further.
"No son, a deal's a deal, remeber we don't do anything till we get some advice from others, ok?"
"Yeah ok dad, but you make me feel so good all the time."
"Son, you don't know how hard it is for me to not do something, but I gave my word and I have to live by it, ok?"
"Yes dad I know you're right, it's just, well you know?"
"Yes son, I know how hard it is, but we have to do the right thing, it's the only way it will work for us."
"Come on let's get on with the other stuff. Max and Steven will be here at 8.00 and we have to be ready by then so let's go."
"I'm gone, I'm gone."
Benny took off out of the bathroom to get dressed as I finished my shower, my hands still trembling with the effort to stop from doing what I really wanted to do with my naked boy in the shower. He was so beautiful and vibrant with youthful energy I had nearly succumbed to the my feelings. I washed away the doubts knowing I had made the right decision for both of us, and that in the end it would be for the best.
We made it back to the house at 7.45 with everything we needed to buy and I sent Benny down to check on the boat and start the precheck as I took note of everything to make sure I had not forgotten something when the bell on the front door rang, Max was here.
"Hi Max, Hello Steven, how are you both?"
"Great, thanks John, how're you and Benny, where is he anyway?"
"He's down checking the boat, should be back in a minute."
"Hell you got it bad old man, you let him check your baby for you?"
"It's as much his as mine, Max, I know he'll do it right."
"Well as far as I'm concerned hes the best thing to ever happen to you by the look of it."
"You're not wrong there Max, like a coffee while we wait for him?"
"Yes, I'd love one, someone slept in this morning and I missed my first of the day."
"And you say I've got it bad."
"No Steven didn't sleep in, he was up and about before the birds woke up, I was the late one."
Steven stood looking around the house as though he was waiting for something special to happen, then the sliding doors to the patio looking out onto the bay were opened and a rocket shot into the room in the form of my boy grinning and happy.
"I did all the checks dad, everything is ready to start her up. Oh, hello mister Max."
"Hi Benny, how are you?"
It was then that Benny and Steven laid eyes on each other, their mouths dropped, eyes staring and I swear they both began to sweat as the stars in their eyes shone brighter at the first sight of each other. I looked at Max as he looked at me, lifting an eyebrow to each other at the same time, I nodded, he nodded, you don't believe in love at first sight? then you should have been standing here with Max and myself.
"Hey cheeky, this is Steven, you're allowed to say hello."
"Well Max, looks like it's going to be one of those quiet weekends, looks as though some people don't have much to say to each other?"
"Yeah kinda looks that way."
"Want to see if Steven can help you take the rest of the stuff down to the boat while Max and I have a coffee?"
Benny had never taken his eyes off Steven and as he blushed (love to see teens blushing). He gave Steven a pleading look, Steven being as tongue tied as Benny just nodded his head in agreement as they bashfully tried not to take each other's hand as they made their way toward the patio door.
"Did you know that Steven was gay, Max?"
"Yes he told me about six months ago. I wasn't sure how to handle it at the time, you know how you and I are, but he was great when we sat down and really talked it out and when I told him about me and that it would'nt be right to do anything as I was now responsible for his welfare. He took it well and said that he would rather wait and find one person that would want to just be with him and not play around, I think he just found him."
"I think you may be right, how much time should we give them?"
"Oh, I think we should break it up in about 15 minutes."
"Yeah sounds about right, they should be getting just to the touching stage by then."
"Ahhh John, young love, what would the world be without it."
"Bloody miserable, I think."
"Yep you could be right there John, now where's that coffee?"
Star Light Star Bright
We had finished our coffee and looked at each other knowing it was time to go and see what the latest developements might be down at the boat and after locking up the house made our way down there and just as we thought there were the two of them sitting in the cockpit. The chilly bins on the deck with the two boys forehead to forehead staring into each other's eyes with Benny's fingers of his right hand twirling with the rat tail at the back of Steven's hair, talk about goo goo eyes. It was so beautiful we just stood on the jetty watching the two of them, oblivious to our presence, drinking from each other's eyes, Steven's hands on Benny's knees, not carressing them just resting on them and Benny's left hand cupping Steven's chin.
Max and I looked again at each other and smiled, we both nodded at the same time in silent agreement to break the spell for now and get them both moving.
"So this's what the captain does when the crew are away?"
The startled expression on both their faces was almost too much for us to stand as they parted. I don't think they even realised they had been so close together, they broke out into the most beautiful deep red blush as they stammered and squirmed about on the seats.
"Dddddaaadd, we, oh uhm, we were, oh god, dad we, were, uhm, not doing anything."
"I know buddy, I trust you, don't worry. Now let's get out of here, why don't you and Steven go up on the flybridge and get the old girl started while max and I put the chilly bins away?"
"Ok dad, c'mon Stevie, let's go up top."
As they climbed the ladder I looked again at Max with a quizzicle look.
"Stevie! Benz! god what have we got ourselves into here Max?"
"Don't worry John, it's only love, you'll get used to it."
"Never, let's get this stuff below before those two start up again."
Just then the engines growled into life and the steady throbbing could be felt through the hull.
"Well Max, I know where one pair of hands are anyway, but I don't know abouth the other pair?"
"Oh well, we better check and see then, looks like you and I will have to have a chat later about those two."
"Yes, looks like it but I don't think anything will happen at the moment, I trust Benny to know what's right and wrong."
"Yep, I'm the same with Steven, as bad a time as he's had I still trust his judgement."
"You think this is going to get serious with both of them?"
"John you can see it, there's no doubt, we'll just have to work something out to help them as much as we can, I think they deserve each other don't you, after all they've been through."
"No doubt about that Max and at the same time it solves a worry I've had since Benny came to me."
"What was that, John?"
"Bed times, and what he was wanting to do, this is a god send in a way, he was becoming very hard to resist and I was weakening very quickly."
"What about the sleeping arrangements for tonight?"
"I think we should keep them apart for tonight, give them time to know each other before the good bit happens, hehehe."
"Yes I feel the same way, I'll keep Steven in the port cabin bunks."
"Ok and Benny will be with me up forward in the double."
"Ok that's settled now let's break them apart again and get under way. I've been looking forward to this all week, by the way you didn't say where we're headed."
"The Mercs, where else?"
"Damn it's good to be going out with you again, you going to be looking for a 20 again?"
"I'm going to try, I'd like Benny to get his first and maybe if we're lucky we might be able to find one for Steven as well."
"It's going to be an interesting trip with those two mooning all over the place making eyes at each other, should make for a good giggle now and again."
"Oh yes my friend, we're going to get a giggle out of those two this weekend, now let's go up and lever them apart."
We went up top but didn't need to use a crow bar to get them apart. They were just sitting on the side bench seat holding hands until we appeared and then the hands flashed to their sides with a guilty look toward us. I just smiled at them and went to the console and put the boat into gear and went astern to pull out from my jetty as Max joined me on the port chair, the two boys sitting behind us still on the bench with their little fingers touching, and yes blushing lightly as they noticed me look around at them.
"For god's sake, why don't you two just hold hands and be done with it, pussy footing around like that will never bring you closer."
"Daaaad, really! uhm, can we really, you and Mr. Max don't mind?"
"Benny if you think that Steven would make you happy, then I'm not going to stop you holding hands while we're in private and Max agrees with me, but boyo it goes no further than that at this stage, deal?"
"Deal dad, you're the bestest dad ever."
Benny quickly and without asking Steven grabbed his hand and snuggled in a little closer to him, I must admit he looked better there next to Steven than he would have looked doing the same with me, but then I was new at this too, but Steven was a sensible lad and between Max and I, I was sure they would do the right thing.
As we cleared the head of the bay I pushed the engines up to 2800 revs and the boat settled down on her haunches and began to fly along at a steady 23 knots. I adjusted the GPS and made the selection on the chart plotter then called Benny to the wheel, I'm not silly, I knew how to keep his hands busy somewhere else.
"Ok Captain, come and take over, you remember how to read the GPS and plotter?"
"Ok, I've got her lined up for the Barrier and then when the reading is on the mark like I showed you, reset the GPS for the Colville Channel, and head for Great Mercury from there, ok, we'll be down below having another coffee, do you two want a drink up here?"
"Yes please dad, do you want one, Stevie?"
"Yes thanks, Benz."
"Ok anchor boy, two drinks for the Captain and the first mate."
"Yes sir, Captain sir."
"We better get out of here John before we have to scrub the decks."
"Right behind you Max, these two will give us the plank if we hang around here much longer."
We reached the cockpit and as Max sat on one of the game chair I went into the small galley to get the coffee pot on and find two drinks for the bosses up top.
"Hey Captain, you want coke or sprite?"
"One coke, one sprite please, anchor boy."
"Yes sir, Captain."
Max was sitting down laughing at the by play between Benny and myself as I made my way up the ladder to the bridge with the drinks and as I returned and made the coffee handing it to him he commented about the way things were going.
"Well if nothing else, he's got you trained, damn I'm going to be in trouble if it's catching and Steven takes after him as well."
"Do you good to be told for a change, you get it to easy in that department of strategic blunders as it is."
"Oh jesus, John don't you start, you and your anti-beaurocracy attitude, you're going to be the death of me."
"Good, that'll give you a real job for a change."
"How do you work that out?"
"Shovelling coal is a man's job, do you good."
"Well that counts you out."
"You have trouble holding an eraser, you wouldn't know which end of the shovel to use."
"No I won't need to, I'll get the bosses job for sure, just stand back and give the orders to the employees like you."
"In a pig's eye, Satan would never trust you with a job like that, he'd probably give you the job of feeding the boatman on the Styx."
"What makes you think that?"
"The boatman is a skeleton, he doesn't eat, so your abilities in the kitchen wouldn't be stretched."
"Captain? I need a rope, something needs stretching?"
"What needs stretching, anchor boy?"
Max and I broke oput into laughter as the mumbling from up top came down to us, sounded like something to do with senility of the aged as the two boys also broke out laughing.
"You keeping a watch on your heading, Benny?"
"Yes dad, we're ok and running straight."
A comment jumped into my mind about things being straight on this trip, but I let it ride and saved it for another time, as Max and I leaned back into the two game chairs and relaxed. Benny was proving to be a quick learner and by watching the wake I could see he was keeping a good clean course and not wandering all over the ocean as a lot of older boaties had a habit of doing in a launch of this size.
"Dad, can I let Stevie have the wheel for a while?"
"Ok son, but you keep your eyes open, a lot of small boats out today."
"I could tell the minute that Steven took over as the wake began to curve and as he compensated a little too much the boat swang back the other way, then again a little too much, as I watched though he seemed to get the feel of it and slowly the course settled down with only a small waver now and again, but in general he was doing quite well. The feeling of speed on the water gave you a different perspective than on land and took a little getting used to, also the height that they were standing up on the bridge was deceiving when turning.
The Barrier Island loomed closer as we sped along at a comfortable speed, the slight north westerly swell not hampering the actions of the boat, an hour later we were entering the Colville Channel and I went to take over from Benny, this narrow stretch of water could be very dangerous even on a calm day as the tide changed and there was not a lot of room between the Barrier and the tip of the Coromandel Pennisular to move a launch around on if it got a bit nasty. Twenty minutes ahead of us was the group of the Mercury Islands with Great Mercury in front of us and then the two bigger of the islands behind that with a lot of smaller ones spread out around then, a lot of good fishing spots all through this area and as it was quite a trip to reach them not many people came out here so the fish stocks were in good order.
"So what we going to do first, go fishing or have some lunch in Coralie Bay?"
"Can we have lunch first, dad?"
"Not a problem son, when we get there its lunch and a breather, then we'll look for a spot for the late afternoon and evening fish, bring your camera this time, Max?"
"Yep remembered it this time."
"Good, going to be a nice sunset tonight by the look of that high cloud."
As we exited from the Colville Channel I turned the boat toward the north western end of Great Mercury to where the enterance of the bay was and handed back the wheel to Benny.
"Here you are son, you take us to the gap and I'll take us into the bay from there."
Once anchored in the bay we sat back for a little to relax and then I got up to start lunch as the two boys pressed close together on the bench seat in the cockpit again star gazing at each other as Max sat back with a soft smile on his face watching them.
Lunch was a grab as can style of meal with everything just laid out on the fold down table in the center of the cabin and you just help yourself to what's available, Max had a beer but knew that while there was some running around still to do I would not drink alcahol until we were anchored up for the night and then only sparingly just in case of emergencies, the boys had their usual cooke and sprite as they ate like sharks in a feeding frenzy, it's good to see healthy apetites on teens, shows they're in good health.
Once lunch was done with and we cleaned up the plates and things from the meal and I started the boat up and we headed out to the Red Mercury Island at the far end of the group to my favourite place for catching 20 plus pound Snapper. The day was becoming more perfect with every passing minute, Max and I had become closer because of the two boys and they had found the one thing that had been eluding them for most of their short lives, each other.
I must apology for the long delay in this episode but due to a breakin of my home and the theft of my computer system I have just now been able to replace it and have a lot of catching up with both stories and emails so I ask you for your patience and hope that soon everything will be back to normal.
As we sat and whiled away the late afternoon sun the two boys found it harder and harder to stay apart and the fishing seemed to have taken a back seat for the moment, I kept an eye on their rods and lines as the sun sank further as the closer to dark it became the better the chances of a big snapper striking, I had decided in concert with Max that at the first sign of a decent and likely strike we would give the rod to Benny reguardless of whos it was.
I leaned back in the chair beside Max with one eye on the rods and the other on the two of them, they made a very beautiful couple and I hoped that they would find a deep love to have together, a small zzzzzz sound came from the rod holder beside me, I glanced at the tip of the rod and watched as it slowly began to bend, the line easing out imperceptively, not a mad rushing scream this was going to be a good fish, he was tasting and trying to find any resistance as he carried the large bait along then dropped it again, after 30 seconds he picked it up again and I reached for the rod to take it out of the holder placing my thumb on the auto drag ready to slam it forward and bury the hook.
"Benny, come here son, get your belt on and be ready to take this one."
"Ok dad, is it a good one?"
"Looks like it son, ready?"
I glanced over at him to make sure he had his gimbol belt fitted tightly and then as the fish pulled out line again I struck the drag lever and snapped the rod tip upward burying the hook deep, the weight came on and the reel began to scream as the fish felt the hook pulled into his jaw, he was a good one alright this would give Benny something to play with now, looking down I eased the drag to 5 kg [11 lbs] and handed the rod to Benny to put into his belt and start the fight.
I'd had Benny practice before this on a 'giggle stick' (light bait rod) with kahawai and sprats to get used to the action of using the rod to fight the fish and not just winch them in like so many had the habit of doing, a good snapper like this one was tricky and knew ways of getting off your line that you would never think of, if he was up near the 20lb mark then he could be as much as thirty years old and to make that age they're not stupid, they'll use every rock, reef or piece of kelp to get free.
Benny's face began to flush as he settled into his work, the rod was loaded with only 15lb [7 kg] line so he had to work well to land this one, he braced his knees against the gunnel of the boat as he gave and then took back line, sweat broke out on his forehead as his little arms pumped the rod up and down, then with one big tug the fish powered downward pulling Benny close to the edge, before I could react there was a pair of slim arms around his waist and a voice saying.
"I've got you love, give it to him, he's going to be yours."
It was so spontaineous that I looked over at Max and he just nodded his head as though to say, 'leave them to it' I nodded back to him and sat watching the struggle, after a good ten minute battle Benny called out.
"Dad, dad, I've got colour."
I jumped to my feet as Benny told me the news, (having colour means he can see the fish near the surface and wants a gaff or net to land it) so for the best result for him I took up the landing net and went to the side of the boat to wait till he was ready for me, the fish looked good and heavy, the large head with its distinctive bulging forehead and the large eyes with the bright red and orange colour with an very broad tail lashing water back and forth told me it was going to be close to the 20lb [9 kg] I wanted for him, if it made the grade I would have it mounted on the wall for Benny and for all his friends to look at.
I watched as the fish gave its last mighty heave to escape but Benny had learned his lessons well and gave him a little line then pulled back again on the rod bringing the fish close enough for me to reach over the side and slide the net over his head and into its safe keeping, we had him, I lifted it into the boat as Steven and Benny cheered and hugged each other.
"You did it baby, you did it, I love you Benz."
There was sudden silence except for a small flapping from the snapper as the words sank in around the cockpit, Max smiling, Benny blushing and Steven standing with his mouth hanging open as he realised what he'd just said with his declaration of love for Benny.
I looked at Max and raised an eyebrow in query, he nodded.
"Well son, if he's going to be your boyfriend you might as well kiss him."
The last of his words was cut off by Steven's mouth as it covered his in a kiss that seemed to me to be promising a lot more than friendship, as the two pairs of hands began to snake downward I dropped the fish onto the deck and coughed loudly, with a bit of a smacking sound the lips drew apart and flushed faces appeared from the huddle.
"Well son, we're going to weight this one for you or you're going to tongue wrestle all day?"
"Oh dad, you're gross."
"Oh really, I'm gross, I'm not the one being kissed in the middle of the ocean by his boyfriend."
Max sat quietly chuckling to himself as the banter flew back and forth.
"Dad, it's ok, isn't it? I mean for Stevie and me to be boyfriends?"
"Hey buddy, Steven is a really nice guy and you two are made for each other. I couldn't be happier for you both, if it's what you want. I told you son, I want you to be happy and anyway I can help do that then I'm happy as well, what about you Max, you happy with these two being boyfriends?"
"It's what they want so I'm as happy as you John, besides it'll mean we can go fishing more often while these two are tucked up with each other."
Steven piped up as he wrapped his arms around Benny's waist to hug him.
"Dad you're as bad as Mr Max is."
"Well I think that's enough of that you two, if you're going to be boyfriends then it better be just John and Max seem we're almost going to be in the same family."
The two heads snuggled against each other as Benny reached his arms around behind Steven's back to pull him closer.
"Right that's enough of that let's get this weighed and then settle down to wait for another for 'Stevie'."
"Haha, come on Max grab the scales, let's see what this tiddler weighs."
We put the scale hook into the mouth and I lifted it up and read the scale."
"Damn, sorry son it's just under, look, 8.99kg, that's about 19 and three quarter pounds, you want me to put a sinker down its neck and weight it again?"
"Dad stop it, you know I won't cheat, I'll beat you fair and square."
"Not while your arms are full of boy you won't."
"DAD, jeez Stevie old people can be a pain."
As an answer Steven snuggled into him again as he kissed Benny on the ear.
"Oy, you two enough of that for now, save it for later, now we have to put this on ice Benny, you caught it so you take care of it, us oldies are worn out and need a cold drink."
I handed the fish to Benny as I made my way into the cabin to get another beer for Max and a coke for myself and as I turned I saw the left hand rod bend in a very serious way, I coughed and motioned to Max, he looked up and saw the movement, this was a better one so I nodded toward Steven so Max could give it to him when the time came but as he got to his feet the reel screamed out its message of 'big fish' and as Benny came running back outside I yelled to Steven.
"It's yours, Steven, you take him."
Benny jumped to be beside Steven as he took up the rod from the holder, the line still screaming out, this looked like a kingfish not a snapper and it was a big one. Steven was in for the fight of his life with this one, pound for pound the kingfish was the hardest and dirtiest fighter in the sea and by the look of the amount of line streaming out he had to be in the upper 50 or 60 lb [22½-27 kg] mark. It was going to be down and dirty fighting with this one, I reached down under the chair and got the full harness out for Steven, signalling Max to take the rod while I strapped Steven into the rig and tightened the straps then Max shoved the rod into the gimbol and I locked the reel onto the clips and stood back to watch the fun and to steer the chair as the fish went looking for South America or anywhere but here. Steven's arm muscles bunched and twisted as he took the weight sweat begining to break on his forehead, his knuckles showing white as he gripped the rod handle, Benny hovered nearby muttering encouragement to his new boyfriend.
"Hold him, honey, watch him, yess now babes now, yesss, give him line love, yes that's it, yess, work him honey, yes yes."
"Benny, quiet for a minute, let him concentrate."
"Ok dad, c'mon honey, sorry dad."
"Jeez Max, what did we do to deserve these two."
"Just lucky I guess, John."
"That sort of luck I should buy a gun."
The battle rage on neither boy nor fish was giving up. Benny's insistent chatter in Steven's ear sending him to greater effort. This kingfish was a dirty fighter and had almost won his freedom twice by diving for the anchor rope and then the rudder but I had started to winch in the anchor at the first sign of a good run from it and the help with the rod by Max had kept the rudder free. Steven fought on and then all was quiet, 45 minutes he had fought tooth and nail for his fish and then the line was hanging slack in the water, damn a bust off.
"Sorry Steven, looks like he wins this round."
"I don't mind John, it was just so, well, ahm thrilling, feeling all that power and speed, I didn't know fish could be that strong?"
"That sort of fish is the best there is Steven, a good kingy will beat most grown men, you did really great to keep him that long, well that's what fishings about, it's the challenge not the number you land, it's being at odds with something that's in it's own enviroment and you have to fight him by his rules, that's why I like to put back most of the fish alive and only take home enough for what we can eat while its fresh."
"Thank's heaps John, that's the best time I've ever had, it was so awesome."
"Well you two want to get a drink or something while us oldies try to catch dinnner?"
"Ok dad, can we switch on the TV for a while?"
"Sure son and ah, no more than cuddles ok?"
"Hehehe, yeah Dad, we promise."
We started to get some good bights as it got darker, the sound of the small Tv in the cabin keeping us company and with either Max or I occassionally looking in just to make sure we could see where our two love birds were we landed a couple of nice dinner sized fish for later.
"You think we should go back to the bay for the nigh or stay here, John?"
I looked up at the night sky and judged it good enough to stay where we were for the night.
"No we'll be ok here Max, I think we should stay up and do a late fish after dinner, let the boys have a little quality time together, but we'll keep them in sight for now I think."
"Yes my thoughts exactly, they can have a cuddle and a kiss for a while and we'll do some serious line work and a quiet drink as well I think."
"Sounds good to me Max, want something now?"
"Yeah, I think it's rum time."
"That it is my friend, BENNY."
"MMrph, yesh dad?"
"Can you get two rum and cokes for us, we'll stay here the night, that's if you can get your breath back."
A muttering came from the cabin as they tried to work out our ancestry from the trees down.
"We going to have to teach them manners one day Max."
"Suppose so, trouble with boys when they're in love, they forget to look after the old folks."
Benny arrived with the drinks, his shirt was haning outside his shorts and his hair was all ruffled, his eyes were shining like stars and his face flushed a deep shade of pink.
"What happened to you, son?"
"Been in a meat grinder?"
"Ahhhm, just cuddles, dad."
"Some cuddles, go on back you go, he might send out a search party if you hang around here."
"Yeah Benny, "
"I love you, and thanks to you and to Max for today and everything."
"S, ok kiddo that's what dads are for."
Benny charged back into the cabin and we could hear the sound of tongue wrestling going on behind us as we sat and enjoyed our first rum of the day.
"We got to look after them John."
"Yes Max but they're sensible kids, they've had enough hard times, we can now give them some good ones, I think that after today they'll know they can come talk anytime to us, we'll keep them safe."
"Yeah you're right John, I think we better do the old S.E.X. talk tomorrow for them, just to make sure they play safe."
"Yes I think it might be good to just have a quiet word tonight at bedtime as well, just to clear the air as it were."
"Yes I'm in for that, lay the ground rules as it were."
"That's it, ok now when we having dinner?"
"Say about nine, then the boys can relax and we can have a port before the serious fishing starts."
"Sounds like a plan to me."
Life's Like That
Seasons Greetings to all my readers and may the New Year be a good and happy one for you all. Now that all of the rush and hurry is out of the way I am able to get back to writing and I hope I can bring everything up to date for you over the next few days. Thank you all for your patience.
We spent a little time with fishing and setting up big baits for later in the night then made our way inside to start dinner, the two lovers were happily in each others arms as they watched us working in the galley preparing dinner.
"You two do the washing up afterward, us oldies are fishing for a couple of hours after dinner."
"Ok dad, uhm dad?"
"Can me'n Stevie sleep together tonight, we won't do anything."
"Yeah right kiddo, no son I think tonight you should stay with me and Steven with Max, we need to talk a little don't you think?"
"Yeah, I suppose you're right, dad."
"You know it kiddo, look son, we're not going to keep you apart, we'll do all we can to make you both happy and safe, but I think you have a few things you need to know to do that, sound fair?"
"Yes dad, you're right, it would be better if we knew what we were doing."
"Ok kiddo, let's leave it till later then, ok?"
"Yep ok dad,
and thanks, from both of us, you and Max are great."
"Haha, yeah we know we are, kiddo."
The meal turned into a free for all with Max and I sitting on the same side of the small table as the boys would not give up their seats beside each other. We watched in amazement as they demolished everything in sight, feeding each other with their single hand, the other one being held tightly under the table by the other boy, their heads so close together that they were almost one with two mouths. Giggles and kisses aside they managed to shove a lot of food down each others neck, little drips of melted butter from the fish and oil from the salad dressing running down their chins as they made the food do a disappearing act.
"What you reacon Max, should we leave these two out here on the island, I don't think even the sharks could do a better job at a feeding frenzy as these two."
"Could be a go John, might save us a bit of money feeding them as well."
The boys looked over at us and then at each other and as if in mutual agreement their lips met, melted butter, salad oil and all as they tried to swallow each other, a loud smacking noise and they looked over at us.
"That'll teach those oldies to behave."
Benny laughed at Steven's comment as he wiped his hand over his mouth to remove some of the mess covering his chin.
"So that's how it is, is it, right sprats you get the coffee for us old broken down pensioners."
"Ok dad, we'll get it for you, I know it's hard to move at your age." (giggle).
"Move it sonny-jim."
"We need to train these two John, they're getting out of hand, must be love."
"Yep Max must be."
We left the cabin and moved out to the chairs as the boys made the coffee and began to clean up the galley, once the coffee was in our hands I went back in and got out the port bottle and poured out two glasses for Max and I to have with the coffee.
"Be hard to get used to this sort of life, don't you think Max?"
"Yep bloody hard to live like this, John."
"Well we've got two hours to the top of the tide. I think we should set out the baits about now. We'll use the Jelly tips and the Penn Jigmasters, float the baits down in the current. If we fish this high tide through till 1.00 we should be in with a chance."
"Sounds good to me, John."
"Can Stevie and I stay inside and watch TV?"
"Sure son, but ahh, the door stays open, ok?"
"Ok dad, thanks."
Max and I got our gear ready and the baits into the water then sat back and enjoyed the quiet of the night and the stars shining above us as we waited. Fishing at night was not as hectic as daytime but the fish were bigger and gave a better fight in the dark, although I had the lights on to cover the water around us it still seemed as though we were on an empty planet, no noise except for the lapping of water against the hull and the lowered volume of the TV in the cabin.
The occasional rustle of bodies and smacking of lips told me that the boys were not watching too much television but as I hadn't heard any zippers being lowered I was happy to let them have their time together in peace.
The fishing was good with some great strikes and a couple of good sized fish landed to take home for a later meal. At just after 1.00 am we called it a night and as Max went to wake the two boys I set about securing the boat for the night, checking the riding lights and the emergency alarm for safety. I went into the cabin when all was done to find Benny sleepy eyed and looking lonely without his boyfriend in his arms.
"C'mon kiddo, bed time."
We went into the front bedroom and he stripped unashamedly in front of me and hopped into the double bunk as I undressed and joined him.
"You feel like talking now, son?"
"Ahm, can we do it in the morning, dad?"
"Sure son, come here and get your head down."
Benny snuggled up to me with his head on my chest and was out like a light in seconds, I looked down at him and smiled at his pixie face as a smile came over it, his mind must have been filled with the picture of a certain boy as he thrust his hips against my side. I squeezed him and he settled down with a mumbled something I couldn't understand and then fell into dreamland myself.
I awoke at 6.30 and looked at Benny lying there still hugging me close and then heard Max moving around in the cabin getting coffee so decided to get up and leave my boy sleeping to join him in the first of the day. As I entered the main cabin area I could see Steven still out to it in the single bunk, Max looked over at me as I joined him.
"Did you get to have 'that' talk John?"
"No, let's do it together for them when they wake up?"
"Yeah that'll be better, they'll get the same message then and there won't be any conflicting rules that way."
"Yes sounds good to me, you are happy with the arrangement aren't you?"
"Hell yes Max, as long as Benny's happy then I'm all for it, I'm not going to stand in his way if it's what he wants. I owe him my life Max, so I'm damn well going to see he has everything he needs and if that's Steven then that's what he's going to have, you happy with that?"
"Seeing Steven today with him I couldn't be happier John. Steven deserves his life just like Benny does, and besides they make one hell of a couple don't they?"
"You got that right Max."
There was a murmering and grunt in the bunk as Steven began to wake up and then a muffled noise from my cabin told me that the other half had woken as well, both at the same time had to be a good sign somewhere in there.
Max and I watched as Steven stretched and made to move to get up, he swung his legs over the side of the bunk showing his red boxers tented out in front. Max and I looked at each other and smiled at the morning riser as though we were remembering earlier years. Steven blushed and tried to hide what appeared to be quite a substancial erection and I thought of Benny's slim little butt, damn we've got to have that chat very quickly if they had plans in that direction, Steven was a big boy where it counted and Benny was very small and slim. The last thing I wanted for him was to be hurt in any way, especially that way.
"John, can I go wake Benz?"
"Ok Steven, but put that thing away ok?"
(Giggle) "I wouldn't do anything John, but ok."
Steven struggled to pull his shorts on over the bulge and then took off for the other cabin, we listened as the bunk groaned a little under the added weight as he jumped onto it.
"Morning love, (Mrmph) missed you, (Mrmph) love you (Mrmph)."
"Love you (Mrmph) too (Mrmph) missed you too (Mrmph)."
"Ok you two enough, come on out here, we have to talk soon as you've finished in the head, move it."
"Yes (Mrmph) dad."
The two appeared with starry eyes on each other, arms around each others waist. Benny took off to the toilet and when he appeared Steven took his turn. Max and I had taken oposite sides of the table on purpose to keep them apart while we talked to make sure they were listening.
"Right then, you can understand that you have to have some ground rules. Max and I want you both to have fun but at the same time we want you to be safe at all times. Now we're going to ask you some pretty personal stuff, it's not that we're trying to be nosey but we need to know you're both going to be healthy and above all safe. We all know what sort of a life you've both had, neither of us are going to put a lot of fences in you path, we only want you to be happy but at the same time you have to do your part as well, ok so far?"
"Good, now first the easy bits, you both know Max and I are gay and have been all our lives. There's nothing about this way of life we don't know so you come to us for any advice you ever need, no one else. You know we won't lie to you or put barriers in your way to loving each other, always remember we want the best for you both. Max and I know you will want to go through the whole sex part of your relationship, it's not all about sex though, you have to trust each other and above all else be honest with each other as well, don't lie about anything to you partner, if you make a mistake tell him openly and honestly, being in love is a partnership not just a toss in the sack at night time, ok?"
"Ok, Max you want to take it from here?"
"Fine John, right you two, now have either of you had sex before, with anyone. Remember we aren't going to jump you, just be honest as John said, we're here to help you."
you know, Max."
"Ok Benny, that's ok, don't worry everbody does that, even oldies like me and your dad. Steven what about you?"
"Well dad, I have but not all the way, just.
ahh, BJ's a couple of times is all."
"Ok son, now you have to tell me straight up, did you ever swallow afterwards?"
"Good boy, thanks for being honest Steven, now what I'm going to tell you is for the safety of you both, if John agrees then I think at this stage if you want to go a bit further with each other you keep it to masturbation until Steven has a check up to make sure he's ok, fair enough with you both?"
"What's the check up for, Max?"
"Because there's the growing number of aids cases, it pays to have a blood test if you've been with anybody else as Steven has been. I'm sure he's ok but both John and I want to make sure you both never have to go through anything like that disease. That's why John said you have to be honest at all times with each other. We are both pretty sure the two of you love each other so much that you won't play around with anyone else but you must be truthful at all times for your own and your partners health and safety. Ok John you want to take it from here?"
"Thanks Max, ok boys, we know you're going to go to anal sex sooner or later, Steven I know you're pretty large, no don't be embarrassed, it's ok. Benny is small, when you want to try something you come and talk to either Max or I, we'll help you with anything you need like lube and condoms and such. Remember Steven, you hurt my boy and after Max has finished with you then I get a go, the same goes for you Benny, sex is serious stuff and both of you can be hurt. Neither Max nor I want either of you to go through anything you don't need to, we want you to have fun but we're still your guardians and we worry about you at all times. Max has agreed that you can both spend time together either at my place or his, you'll be able to sleep over and things, but be discreet in front of other people, use your common sense. School nights it's nine o'clock cut off time, Friday's through to Sunday afternoon once your homework is done you have your own time, don't let us down and we won't let you down, sound fair?"
Benny reached over and flung his arms around my neck kissing my cheek as Steven did the same to Max.
"Yes dad, thanks so much, I really love him dad."
"Yes son I can see that, now go over there and give hm a cuddle or something."
The two boys crashed into each other as they lip locked, Max and I looked at each other with a smile as we watched them.
"Who'd want to be a dad, eh Max?"
"Yeah John, who'd want that job?"
"Hahaha, ok let's get ready to move this hulk home, come on you two break it up, we have to get a move on, the more time we spend here the less you've got together back home."
There was a flash of bodies as they went out to get the boat ready to move, must remeber that one for future use.
A Flight of Angels
After we docked back at our jetty the two boys began to carry all the gear up to the house as Max and I washed down the boat and I checked the mooring to make sure she would be safe till the next time.
Max and Steven didn't stay to long afterward as they needed to get home although trying to break up the smooch session that had our boys locked together in a death grip was a bit of a trial as neither wanted to be the first to say goodbye.
"Ok Max, you get a headlock on yours and I'll do the same to mine that way you'll get home before next weekend."
"Yeah John, it looks like we'll have to bring a spanner with us next time to get these two apart."
"Mrph, yes Dad?"
"Say goodbye to Steven."
"Bye Stevie, I love you."
"Steven, say goodbye to Benny?"
"Bye Benz, I love you."
"Hahahaha, grab him now Max while he's not moving."
"Hahaha, thanks John, see you both later in the week."
"Bye Max, and you to Stevie, hahaha."
We both watched as Max almost dragged Steven forcebly to the car and drove off down the road.
"Well kiddo, did you enjoy your weekend out?"
"Yes Dad, oh he's so beautiful, I love him Dad, soooooo much."
"I can see that, now come on let's get all this gear away and I'll start to fix some dinner for us after we've had a shower."
"Ok Dad, thanks heaps, I love him Dad."
"Yeah so you told me about twenty times now."
"But I do, oh you know what I mean, he's just
well he's just
well you know?"
"I think so, so do you think you love him?" (chuckle).
"Daaad, stop it."
"Hehehe, go on you take a shower now and I'll have one later."
7.00am and the door bell was ringing itself to death as I tried to get the sleep out of my eyes, who the devil could that be at this hour.
"HANG ON, I'LL BE THERE SOON."
I pulled on some track pants and made my way to the front door and as I opened it there was a flash of clothes and boy as he darted around me and headed toward Benny's room.
"Morning John, come to get Benz for school."
"Arrgh, morning Steven, it's only 7.00am, what's the hurry."
A voice came back to me as the body disappeared into Benny's room.
"Got to see him, can't wait, it's been all night, BENZ, Honey, I love you
Oh well, might as well stay up and start breakfast for three by the look of things.
"Morning my love
Well here we go again, the sounds moved from smooching to moaning in ten seconds flat as Benny's voice let me know that more than kissing was going on, still as long as it went no further I would let them play a little.
"Oh honey, you're so hard, is that nice?"
"Uhngch, mmmmmmmm, yes
I love you
ooohhh goood, Stevieeeee
"There you are my love, now how do you feel?"
"Oh Stevie, will you wake me every morning like that
(Giggle) "Every morning my love, and I want to put you to bed the same way every night. " (Smooch).
"Ok you two. enough, you're going to give me a heart attack, breakfast in ten minutes, Benny, shower time and Steven you can come and help me here so he will be quick."
"Ok John, I'm coming now." (giggle).
Yes, I thought to myself, I just bet you are.
I finally managed to get the two of them off to school and began to organise a few things around the house as it seemed I was going to have a permanent tempory boarder all the time the way those two were going on.
The next three weeks followed the same pattern as the first day with the two boys either cuddling or kissing until they had to be parted at the end of the day, the first few nights Max would ring to see where Steven was but after that it was taken for granted that he was with Benny, Max and I just called each other in the afternoon to chat.
At the end of the three weeks Steven's blood results were in and he was clean so I could see that tonight was going to be talk time for them both. I invited Max to come over for dinner and he was of the same opinion that as soon as they found out it would be action stations and prepare for borders, so we agreed ahead of time to let them sleep here for the night even though it was a school night, so to this end I went and did a little shopping just incase.
Dinner was an hillarious affair as the boys still insisted on feeding each other while holding hands, they had been doing this every time they had a meal together and they had become quite expert at it. Max not seeing it to often chuckled at the sight of them.
"How often they do this, John?"
"All the time Max, you'd think they were one armed paper hangers."
When dinner was all done with and the two boys had cleaned up the dishes Max and I called then into the lounge and got them to sit down.
"Well boys we have some good news and some bad news, which do you want first?"
Benny took the lead as usual and spoke for both of them as Steven cradled him in his arms.
"The good one first please, dad?"
"Well the good news is that as you've both kept your side of the bargain about sex together we've decided to let Steven stay with you tonight even though it's a school night. If he wants to of course?"
"Dad, Max, really can he?"
"Yep if he wants to."
"Uhm Dad, what's the bad news?"
"Steven's results are back and I'm sorry it's not good news."
"Oh god, Dad NO, not Stevie, please Dad not him, I love him, he can't have anything like that."
"Like what, kiddo?"
"That aids thing, No please Dad not Stevie."
"Oh that, no he doesn't have that, he's clean of anything like that."
"Oh god Dad, then what is it, please tell us, why is it so bad?"
"Well it's not bad for you and Steven, it's bad news for Max and I."
"Please dad tell us, stop doing this to us."
"Well my little one it's now going to cost a fortune for condoms and lube for you both, that's the bad news."
Max and I broke out into laughter at the look on the faces of the two boys as it sank in that we had now approved of them going further in their relationship if they wanted too.
"You mean we can
like do 'IT' now and it's ok?"
"Yes my little angel, it's ok with both of us, now I've got some things for both of you and I suggest at this stage you use them until you're both comfortable with each other, I've got some lube and condoms for you, I know you're both clean but I really think in this day and age you should still be safe with each other when you have sex."
Steven and Benny tried to interupt and I knew what they were going to say.
"Yes I know you both only want to be with each other and no one else, but it still pays to be safe and I also want you both to promise that if anything at all happens and you do make a mistake with some one else that you'll be up front about it with your partner, remember, mistakes can happen so be honest with each other at all times. Now do you need to know what to do with this bag of goodies or do you think you can handle it yourselves?"
"Oh Dad really, we've done sex-ed, we know what condoms are for and how to use them."
"Good, now both Max and I aren't going to ask who does what to whom, but I recommend that you both use a lot of lube when you decide to go that far, we don't want either of you hurt so both of you take your time and anything you do, remember that its your lover with you not a brick fence, one of you says stop, you stop, ok?"
"Hehehehe, yes Dad, we will, uhm
can we go now?"
"Well you know?"
"No I don't, where do you want to go?"
"What you say Max, should they 'go' or not?"
that's a hard decision to make under all this pressure John."
Two sets of shining eyes set in blushing faces looked beggingly at us.
"Oh, ok then get out of here."
Two very cute and hot boys were on the move before all the words were out, heading for their love nest, the brown paper bag clasped tightly in Steven's hand as they disappeared around the doorway into Benny's room.
"What you think Max, feel like a port?"
"That'd be nice John, what have you got?"
"Well I've got a really nice twenty year old Baron De Forrester on the boat."
"Why have it on the boat?"
"Oh, I thought this afternoon that it's a great night and we could take the boat out and look at the lights of the city from the harbour as we had our port?"
"That's a great idea, I'm all for that, but why tonight?
oh I get it, yeah that would give them some peace."
"Right, and I don't think I could put up with all the noise that's going to be going on here anyway."
"Tomorrow is Friday, you think they will be any good for school by then?"
"Nope, I think they will be very sick and need the day off, don't you?"
"Yeah John, that's what I thought, you only get one honeymoon if you're going to be with the same guy all your life."
"Yep. ok let's head for the boat before the bedlam starts."
As Max and I left through the French doors I was sure I could hear the rustling of a paper bag coming from the direction of Benny's room.
We went to the boat and got underway. I had no intentions of coming back till the very early hours of the morning when by rights they should be out to it. Max had agreed to stay the night and also take the day off from work so we made arrangements to take the boys away for the weekend on the boat to Kawau Island and let them have a little honeymoon up there as well. Max and I would spend most of our time on the island so the boys could use the boat as a base to have fun.
As we sat at the stern drinking port and watching the lights, the sound of the water gently lapping against the side of the boat eased us into a pleasant euphoric state helped a little by the port.
"I hope you don't mind but I went and did a little shopping today for the boys."
"Why should I mind, Max?"
"Well what I got is a little unconventional."
"So, our boys are a little unconventional, what did you get them?"
Max opened his hand and I saw two ring boxes, one blue and the other purple.
"The blue one is for Benny, have a look and see what you think?"
I took the box he offered and opened it, inside was a man's gold ring set with a three carat blue saphire and around the edge of the stone in very small letters was the inscription, 'I will love you always'.
"Max it's beautiful, but it must have cost a fortune, and how did you know that saphire is his birth stone?"
"Easy, his birthday is on file at the office, he's a libran so his stone is saphire, Steven's is the same so I got him a black star saphire and the same inscripition."
"They're going to be so chuffed, its a great thought Max, let me pay you half and then it's from both of us."
"No John this is from both of us, you've done so much for them already, this is my little bit, if we're taking them to Kauwau tomorrow I think we should give them the rings when we get there and then leave them to it for a while."
"Yes that's a great idea, let them know we really are happy with their partnership."
Dad and Max kept us guessing but at last the whole truth came out and my stomach turned summersaults as they said we could leave to go to our bedroom, my lovely Stevie was holding me tight against his beautiful body as we went, we had talked about our first time and although Stevie insisted it would be better for him to take me I told him that all I wanted from him was to feel him deep inside me and did not want to take him, I said I wanted him to be my husband and was happy to feel him in me all the time, he gave in and said any time I wanted to change he would let me, I love him soooooo much, he is always so considerate of my feelings and what is good for me, I try to do the same for him but he says that it's his duty to look after me as he had promised my Dad he would, I love him so much.
When we got to the bedroom he threw the bag onto the bed and held out his arms for me to go to him, I snuggled close to his hard chest and felt his erection pushing into my groin as it rubbed softly against my own through our jeans, I lifted my head so that my lips were close to his, he lowered his beautiful hot lips down to mine and I felt his tongue run lightly across my teeth asking for entry into my mouth.
I opened for him and tasted the hotness and sweetness of him as he ran it around my mouth, my cock throbbed at the feeling and my stomach turned into thousands of butterflies as he took my soul into his body, his hands began to stroke my back softly like fluttering feathers as his fingertips teased my skin under my shirt, our mouths locked together in gentle passion.
My skin felt like it was on fire as he swept his fingers over me lower and lower until he was lightly massaging my butt cheeks the feeling of it was sending electric shocks through me, he wasn't pulling hard just holding me like a china doll, caressing my butt softly as his tongue did it's magic work in my mouth, I could hear our moans transferring between our lips as I held onto him, my arms now around his neck as I ran my fingers through that soft downey hair, I seemed to tingle all over as he held me and made the first small push with his hips and then with his finger down near my hole.
Just when I thought I was going to cum in my jeans he pulled back a little and running his hands up took hold of the side of my shirt and began to lift it from my waistband, the cool air in the room did nothing to cool my skin as his lips continued to tease my own, I reached for his shirt as well and he gave a small shake of his head to tell me not too, then lifting his mouth from mine he said.
"My dearest love, tonight is for you, I want to do it all for you, do you still want me to be your husband?"
"Oh god Stevie, yes
Stevie returned to removing my shirt slowly, his finger tips sending shivers up my spine as they touched here and there on my burning skin, I lifted my arms for him to take the shirt off then lowered then again around his neck as he traced a line down to my waist band with his right hand, his left stopped at my small nipples and began to circle then lightly, I felt them harden as he caressed them, moving from let to right as he did so.
The electric shocks came faster as I felt his right hand start to loosen the top button of my jeans, then the ever so slow lowering of my zipper, millimeter by millimeter as my nubs grew harder and more sensitive to his touch, I could feel a wetness in my briefs as the precum began to flow, I knew I couldn't wait much longer, my sweetest lover was driving me crazy and we were still clothed, or in my case nearly clothed.
"My love, I'm so close, I can't hold it, oh
god my love it's not going to wait."
Four slim fingers entered my fly and then my briefs curling around my rigid cock and then slowly pulled it out into the open where I felt the slight coolnes of the air on my very very sensitive head, Stevie lowered his head and then I felt it, the hot moistness of his mouth as it wrapped around my shaft and moving down to half the length, then the hot tongue teasingly stroking my cock head, searching, tasting then pushing at my slit, it was too much for me, as my balls tightened up against my body I felt my cock release its juice into his suctioning mouth, my knees went weak and I began to collapse onto the floor as I unloaded the most I had ever done into my sweet lovers mouth as his strong arms circled my waist to hold me up.
I couldn't see anything but thousands of stars circling my head and my muscles refusing to obey me, I couldn't breathe the feeling was so intense, then I felt those strong arms encircle my waist and lift me from the floor, I was laying on the bed and a pair of tender hands were taking my jeans down my legs as consciousness came back and the most beautiful face was leaning over me with the brightest smile I had ever seen.
"How you feel now my sweetest love?'
"Goooood, Stevie, I thought I was going to die."
"Not while I'm here my love."
Those soft hands were running around the waistband of my briefs as he smiled down at me, the thumbs hooking slowly into the top and pulling gentley downwards, my cock was begining to stir again as he rubbed the back of his fingers over my pubic hair and down my hardening shaft, I could feel the perspiration running down my chest as he took off my briefs and stood up, he looked down at me now naked on the bed, oh god I love him so much, I want to feel him deep inside me, making me his for ever.
Stevie stepped back and began to unbutton his shirt then slid it off those magnificent shoulders and dropped it on the floor beside the bed, with a smile and a small wiggle he undid his jeans and slowly slid them down his legs, his rock hard shaft showing through as a tent in his pale blue satin boxers, kicking off his shoes he pulled his jeans off and then his socks.
I watched in anticipation as he hooked his thumbs into the top of his boxers and began to lower them, his hard 6" [15 cm] shaft sprang up as the elastic top was dragged down and then he was standing there in all his beautiful glory, muscles tight and shining with a light sheen of sweat, the trail of dark hair leading from his navel to his pubics was a joy for me to see again, my rod bounced of its own accord at the sight of his nakedness and the desire I had for him to be inside me.
Stevie came closer and then began to lean over me offering his lips as he bent his knees to nestle his body over mine, again the shocks went through me as I felt his warm skin come into contact with my now over heated body, his cock rested against mine as his chesy came down onto me his lips so close but not yet touching mine.
I lifted my arms to him and he smiled and shook his head, I put them back beside me as his tongue flicked out and touched my lips so lightly I wasn't sure he had done it, then again, this time on the point of my chin, then my neck, his hot tongue was working its way downward flicking at different spots on my body as he made his way south to the one place I wanted him to be so badly.
My navel felt the butterfly touch then the head of my cock felt it as he moved on downward, precum was flowing again at these teasing touches, my god he's not going too
oh god that feels soooo good
oh not there
yesss, he was now down under my scrotum, his tongue doing things to the strip of skin between my balls and my hole, I couldn't hold out much longer the sensation was driving me crazy as I bucked and wriggled all over the bed, then it happened, I felt the lightest touch on the edge of my hole
oooooooohhhh god it felt sooooooooo good and it got better as his mouth and tongue did their work on the tender skin around my pucker, my legs went upward and he hooked his hands behind my knees bending my legs back to my chest as his tongue continued to work me over down there.
Suddenly there was nothing, he had stopped and as he lifted his head I saw that his eyes were bright with lust but at the same time full of love and concern as he asked me.
"Are you ready now my love?"
"Oh god Stevie
yeessssss, now please
I clasped my legs back tight to my chest as he leaned over me to get the bag and finding the lube he opened it and put a large dob of it on his fingers then lowered then to my now hot throbbing butt, the feel of the cold lube as he rubbed it gentley around and then in my hole was too much, my cock flinched then shot my load out again over my chest and stomach making me shudder and moan as it forced its way out, as it happened I was sure I felt a preasure on my hole and as the last shot landed on my pubic hair I became aware of a fullness in my butt.
Through the haze of pleasure I lifted my head and looking down between my legs could see my lovers eyes staring back at me with the edges crinkled in amusment at my short fuse, lifting a little more I could see his hand was so cloce to my butt and then felt the two fingers wriggle inside me as he smiled, he then began to move them slowly in and out twisting then now and again as he rubbed the lube well into me, the feeling was so great I stayed hard as he worked me from the inside.
Stevie started to pull his fingers out of my butt so I clamped down tight on then not wanting it to end.
"Patience my love, the best part is coming now."
Stevie lifted up until he was above me and his beautiful hard thick 6 inches [15 cm] was just rubbing the skin of my now pulsing hole, I couldn't take my eyes off it as he slowly pushed in closer until it was just touching me, at last I felt the light push of it against my hole and following his earlier advice I tried to push outward, he eased slowly inward the preasure was now becoming a little uncomfortable but I wasn't going to deny my lover anything he and of course I wanted.
A large hard ball was tryinig to spread me open and then with a sharp pain that made me gasp I felt him pop into me, my spincter was stretched more than I thought was possible and the pain was still there but as he stayed still it became something else, something that I wanted to feel more of, I lowered my hands a little and tried to pull my cheeks further apart to make it easier for him the fullness I felt was getting better and as I lifted my butt a little he pushed down an inch and I felt the heat of him slide in a bit more.
Stevie was breathing heavily and sweat was running down his face as he concentrated on trying not to hurt me but all I wanted was for him to fill me with his love, I took a big breath and pushed up again forcing him to enter me a little deeper, the sensations were going rampant in my mind as my love filled me more and more.
At last I knew he was all the way in as his pubic hair pushed against my butt, his shaft filling me until I could think of nothing else but his body inside mine, he leaned forward and his lips touched mine as his rod twitched and sent a message to me that he was where we both wanted him to be.
"Are you ok my love?"
"Og Stevie you're so much bigger than I thought, I feel so full but it's so nice, don't move for a minute
I want to just feel the fullness of you."
"Ok my love, I can wait as long as you like."
His rod twitched again inside me and I had to smile as the movement sent wild messages through my body, my own cick was now hard up against his belly and as he started to move a little back and forth he rubbed me more and more, my earlier juices were lubricating both of us as he slid over me, then he began to move his cock gentley inside me, no more than an inch at a time, I wanted it to last forever as the internal massage sent me into overdrive with my emotions, tears of joy were running down my cheeks as he pulled out a little further each time and then slowly pushed back in, my head was going from side to side on the pillow and I could hear my moans and groans as he took me with patience and love.
Shortly his thrusts into me became longer and a little harder but he still maintained control as his eyes never left my face the whole time, somewhere in the back of my mind was a sort of pain but I didn't care, my beautiful Stevie was making love to me and I knew there would never be anyone else that would take me, I was his from the first moment I saw him and now I was, in my mind, marked for him alone as his thrusts grew in intensity and I could feel his pubic bush hitting my butt cheeks faster and faster.
Every time he thrust into me he hit a spot that was driving me out of my mind, my cock was ready to explode for the third time as he hit it again and again, I couldn't hold back but at the same time Stevie gave out a loud yell and as his hard rod began to throb inside me I let go with the built up juice in my own.
I loooooove youuuuuuu."
I loooooove youuuuuuuuu."
A blackness overtook me as his slim body fell on top of mine, the sweat and cum mixing into a love potion for our bodies to bind together, his hot breath coming hard and fast as my head began to clear and his eyes opened to gaze into mine.
"Benz, my beautiful Benz, are you ok
do you want me to pull out for you?"
"NO, Stevie don't, please stay in me, don't take it out, oh god it's so nice I want you to stay in me all night, I love you."
"I love you to my little Benzy, I want to stay in you and just die like this with you around me forever."
We lay there in each others arms and soon it was time again as I teased his semi hard shaft awake again, I needed him sooo much, I began to flex my spincter muscle and he soon was ready and willing again, my balls felt a little sore but I didn't care, I wanted him again and again for as long as we could.
I think it was the fourth time and very early in the morning that we found we had nothing left to give but the peace and contentment of being with each other, Stevie somehow managed to turn me around without pulling out and spooned in behind me as we lay down at last to sleep, it was then that I remembered something we were meant to do.
"We forgot something."
"What's that my dearest love?"
"Oh god, oh god, Benz I'm so sorry
it's all my fault, oh god we promised your dad and Max, oh hell how could I be so stupid."
"Relax my love, I didn't want you to use them, I wanted you in me not a rubber tyre, I wouldn't have let you use them anyway."
"But Benz, we promised."
"Well my love, there's only onoe answer then."
"What my dearest, anything for you, I was so bloody stupid."
"Well as you are now inside me forever you will have to stay with me for the rest of our lives." (giggle).
"Ahhh my love I had no other plans anyway." (giggle).
"Will you give me more in the morning, my love."
"When ever you want me honey, any time, any where."
"I love you."
"I love you to Benz."
At these small muffled words we must have drifted off to sleep as it was bright sunlight when I felt that gentle push against my butt and the fullness of the previous night was still there.
Its been eight years now that the two boys have been together, their love and feelings for each other seemed to get stronger as time went on, when they had finished school I had brought them both into my small consultancey company and they now ran it as I became semi-retired and let them have there head with the business, Max retired and we spent many good times together watching our two charges seemingly fall deeper and deeper in love.
The memory of our return from the boat on that first night was still fresh in my mind as it was for Max, we had smiled at the sight of the two of them spooned up in bed that looked as though it was a disaster area, the sheets and blankets strewen over the floor, their naked bodys tight to each other and as Max remarked at the time.
"Well we know who's who in this relationship."
We had left the room after pulling a blanket over them and smiling at Steven hard and fast inside Benny's small tight butt, Steven's arms around him holding tight as though to protect him with his life.
This was going to be one of those partnerships made in heaven and eight years later it was still as strong as the first day, although sometimes the noise they could make at night sent me for a walk along the beach front for a while, but then that's what dads are for?