Sabrina's Magic Wand

[ MMf, oral, parody ]


Published: 23-Nov-2011

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This work is Copyrighted to the author. All people and events in this story are entirely fictitious.

Sabrina lay on her bed, wearing just her tee shirt and panties. She'd had a long difficult day; all morning and afternoon in school, then getting into trouble with her aunts Hilda and Zelda after she'd tried doing a spell and accidentally set Salem on fire. The cat, once ignited, began screaming and running all through the house, setting other things on fire, and Sabrina had had to follow him around with the extinguisher.

Nothing really got damaged (except for Salem, who was resting comfortably now in the burn ward of a netherworld hospital) but Sabrina had been grounded anyway. She was stuck in her bedroom with nothing to do; she wasn't allowed to work any magic, she didn't feel like watching TV or reading or listening to music, and she sure as hell wasn't going to do any of the homework piled up on her desk like the Empire State Building.

She was bored. And feeling a little bit horny, which was what had gotten her into this situation in the first place (the spell she'd attempted was supposed to give her "something to quench a hot pussy" but she'd gotten the words mixed up or something). What was a normal healthy witch just one day shy of her eighteenth birthday and legal adulthood to do in such dire straits? Sabrina figured the answer was obvious.

The only light in her room was the soft glow of her bedside lamp, which made everything dim and cozy. Sabrina relaxed on the bed, half closed her eyes, and let her hands begin to wander over her body. She started with her breasts, fondling them gently through the thin cotton tee shirt, then pulled the shirt up, baring them to the cool evening air. She cupped and squeezed them, caressed her soft creamy flesh, took her hardening nipples in her fingers and played with them. One of her hands slid down her smooth flat belly to the waistband of her panties, then under the waistband and down to the furry little spot between her legs. She touched herself there for a few minutes, then sat up and pulled her tee shirt off. She lay back down and slipped off her panties. Completely nude now, she resumed touching and fondling her body, pulled on her breasts some more, rubbed herself between her legs.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine somebody, maybe a cute young guy like Leonardo DiCaprio or one of the Backstreet Boys, doing her with passion and verve and a great big dick, but for some reason she couldn't conjure up a clear and satisfying fantasy. But even if she could she knew that ultimately it wouldn't be as good as getting the real thing. Masturbation, at least in Sabrina's view, was just an interim measure, a lonely activity that was at best a poor substitute.

Normally she'd just zap up a guy and spend a few hours getting her pipes cleaned, but her aunts had done more than simply forbidden her to use her magic; they'd cast their own spell on her and taken away her powers until further notice. So she was left with just her fingers, or maybe some phallic object if she got desperate enough. She wasn't really that crazy about riding her witch's broom, but what else could she do?

The problem was that she couldn't get off, no matter how hard she concentrated, no matter how furiously she rubbed herself between her legs or how ardently she fondled her breasts. She was still left right on the edge of pleasure, unable to propel herself over the side and down into the well of orgasm. She couldn't come, dammit.

Sabrina sighed and moaned in frustration. This was definitely not fair. Her aunts might be satisfied with doing themselves (or even each other, probably) since they were both about five million years old and had nothing else to look forward to, but she was young, she was beautiful, she had a killer bod, and she deserved a nice hot sweaty boy. Hell, she was so cute she deserved two. But she was stuck here in her dumb boring dickless room with zilch. Goddamn her aunts anyway. Mangy old dykes had cobwebs in their cunts. Dried up old fucking pieces of shit-

There was a knock on Sabrina's door, interrupting her thoughts. Sabrina waited until there was another knock, then called out, "I can't open it! The hags cast a spell!" but then there was another knock and she realized that it wasn't coming from her bedroom door.

"My closet?" she asked. "Someone's knocking on my closet door? Hey! There aren't any lesbians in there trying to get out, are there? Because I have to tell you, that stuff is only funny the first five or ten times-"

Another knock, this one a little more insistent.

Sabrina rolled her eyes and got up from the bed. She put on her robe, the pretty black one, tied the belt around her waist, and approached the closet door. There was yet another knock.

"I'm coming!" Sabrina yelled. "So to speak."

She opened the closet door and was surprised (and a little bit creeped out) to find a tall fat man standing there. He was dressed like a used car salesman.

"Hello there!" he said. "Are you the lady of the house?"

"I'm the only one that's not the same age as God," Sabrina replied. "What do you want? And what the hell are you doing in my closet?"

"Oh, the question isn't what I want," the large man said. "The question, my dear, is what do you want?"


The portly man pulled the lapel of his plaid suit coat open and revealed several rows of watches and gold chains.

"Timepieces," he said, "jewelry, potions, spell books, magic wands, ben-wa balls, whatever your lovely little heart desires."

"First of all," Sabrina said, "you didn't tell me why you're lurking in my closet. Second of all, these," she cupped her breasts for a moment, "are not my lovely little heart, so stop staring at them. Third, I've already got a set of ben-wa balls and they're no great shakes. So to speak. Fourth-"

"Are you going to talk forever, little girl?"

"Fourth," Sabrina repeated, "my aunts, Godzilla and Mothra, took away my powers, which actually doesn't have that much to do with what we're talking about, it just pisses me off. And last-"

"Oh, thank goddess!"

"-I'm not interested in whatever cheap crap you're trying to fence, so get lost. Um.did you say magic wand?"

The fat man's friendly grin turned into a leer.

"I sure did, my dear," he said. He reached into the other side of his coat and slowly pulled out a long thin wand. It was silver and sparkly and Sabrina thought it was just about the coolest thing she'd ever seen. Aside from Salem in flames, anyway. "Top of the line model. Guaranteed to work any time, day or night, and in most dimensions. Plus, you don't have to actually be in possession of your magical capabilities to use it, because it comes with its own rechargeable battery. Recharger sold separately."

"You mean I could use it without my magic?"

"I think that's what I just said, yes."

"Wow." Sabrina reached for the wand but the fat guy pulled it back just out of her reach.

"No, sorry," he said, "gotta have cash up front. And no exchanges if it doesn't fit."

"Doesn't fit?"

"You'll see what I mean. So what do you say, my dear?"

"Don't call me that."

"Sorry. Come on, my dear, it's only five netherworld credits."

"Five credits!?!" Sabrina yelped. "What do you think I am, made of money?"

"Well, no," the badly dressed tub of lard said, "you look like you're made of something much yummier than that. But five credits is the going rate. However." He looked around furtively, as if someone might be spying on them. "If you don't actually have the credits, there still might be a way for you to get the wand."

"Yeah, I know, I thought about robbing you but my butthole aunts confiscated my gun too."

"No, no, no," the jumbo sized jerk said. "I mean, there's a way we can reach a deal. I'll give you the wand and just take the cost out in trade."

Sabrina had to think about that for a minute, but then it dawned on her.

"Oh, gross!" she said. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard."

"Disgusting as it may be," the corpulent creep said, holding the wand enticingly in front of Sabrina's face, "you don't get the wand unless you get my wand first." "No way. I'd rather wear nipple clamps."

"Come now, my dear, it doesn't have to be that bad. Just close your eyes and pretend I'm your math teacher."

"But look at you. You're as big as a fucking house. I let you climb on me and you'll crush me to death. And don't think UPN will pick me up like they did Buffy."

"Okay then, no wand, see ya!"

Blimp boy turned as if to go.

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina cried. "How about this? How about..oh Goddess, I don't believe I'm actually gonna say about if I ..give you..a blowjob? Ew."

"You've got a deal!" the fat salesman said. He tossed the wand on the floor and started undoing his pants. "Take your robe off, my dear."

"What? Why? I don't have to be naked to give you head."

"No naked, no-"

"Oh alright!"

Sabrina took off her robe and stood nude before the big fat man, who she was beginning to think of as "Swamp Thing" (she wasn't sure why that name seemed to fit, but it did), and tried to keep her dinner down while he fished his dick out of his pants. She wasn't surprised to see that it was very small. It looked like a pinky with a helmet instead of a fingernail.

"Well," she said, "at least I won't have to worry about choking on it."

"Enough with the snide comments, my dear," Swamp Thing said. "Now get over here and start earning that wand."

"Fine," Sabrina said. She got on her knees in front of the elephantine swamp monster and took his dinky dick in her hand. Immediately he began to moan and play with her ponytail. Sabrina almost told him not to mess up her hair but decided not to; she didn't want to start a fight, or waste any more time with this loser than she absolutely had to. She closed her eyes and opened her mouth and took his little weenie between her lips. Fighting back the gagging reflex, she started to suck on it, and less than a minute later the swamp rat suddenly clutched her tits (hard enough to hurt, the fucker), and with accompanying howls of pleasure and cries of "Mommy! Mommy!" the oversized bog creature came.

If you could call it that.

The hours she'd spent after school, either trying to improve her pitiful grades or serving detention, had taught Sabrina that giving head always resulted in a mouthful of jizz (except for Mr. Lewis, who for some reason always preferred spraying it in her hair), but this time she didn't even get a thimbleful. There wasn't even enough there to fill one of her cavities. In fact, just a few drops came dribbling out, and if it wasn't for the typically foul taste she probably wouldn't even have noticed. She told herself she shouldn't have been surprised.

"Oh, my dear," Swamp Hippo said, weaving back toward the closet and zipping himself up at the same time, "that was simply marvelous. Stupendous. Much more than adequate."

"Gee, thanks," Sabrina said. She got to her feet and pulled on her robe, then picked the wand up from the floor. She spit out a pubic hair.

"Well," the Blob said, "I hate to come and go like this," he chuckled a little but stopped when he saw the frosty look Sabrina was giving him, "but I've got a Slayer sexbot to deliver to some goofy vampire in Sunnydale." He stepped into the closet and started to pull the door closed.

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina yelled. "You never told me why you were in my closet. What the fuck was that all about?"

"Oh, I don't know," Swamploaf replied. "I think it has something to do with the closet being a portal to the netherworld. I'm not sure, though, I missed that episode. Bye now!" He slammed the door hard enough to knock a picture off the wall.

"Fucking clown," Sabrina muttered, then spit out another pubic hair.

She looked at the magic wand. It was a pretty wand. All silver and sparkly. She wondered what amazing things she could do with it. Zap up millions of dollars? Or maybe a Mazzeratti in the driveway? Use it to take over her Aunt Hilda's and Zelda's minds and make them tear each other limb from limb?

"Oh, I know," she said. She waved the wand in the air for a moment, then pointed it at her bed. "Slave boy!"

Nothing. Hmm. She looked at the wand closely. It seemed like a typical sparkly wand. It should have worked. Hell, it was guaranteed, according to that closet hopping pencildick.

Then, suddenly, and for no apparent reason, the wand began to glow and hum. And vibrate.

"Shit," Sabrina said. "I have a whole drawer full of these."

She tossed the wand across the room in disappointment and frustration. Except it didn't go across the room. It only sailed about two feet before it stopped, all on its own, and hovered in the air.

"What the hell?"

Sabrina took a few steps closer to the wand. It was still glowing and humming and vibrating. She thought about reaching out and touching it but was suddenly nervous. What if this thing was alive or something? And just as she had that thought the sparkling wand began to shift and change, the humming sound got louder, and it quickly swelled into the shape of a very long and thick and menacing looking penis.

Sabrina screamed and ran for the bedroom door, but she couldn't open it because of the spell her skanky aunts had cast. "Stupid bitches!" she screamed, and darted for the window, still screaming, but she couldn't get the window open either. Gripped with a numbing fear now, Sabrina ran around the room in circles, screaming and waving her arms, her robe flying open and falling off her shoulders to the floor. She continued to panic for almost two more minutes before she realized that the magic penis wasn't chasing her.

She stopped and sat on the end of her bed, naked, out of breath, and feeling ridiculous. The silver phallus had grown even longer, and was still glowing and sparkling and humming and floating in the air in the center of the room.

"Oh my goddess," Sabrina breathed, "that's the biggest dildo I've ever seen. Except for the dildo who sold it to me."

Now she really wanted to touch it. She stood up and approached it. Slowly and carefully she reached out and curled her fingers around the shaft. The thing throbbed and pulsed in her hand. Out of habit she began to stroke it, discovering that it didn't feel like a dildo at all, it had a swollen meaty texture to it, and its surface moved with her hand, like skin. It felt real.

"Oh wow," Sabrina said, "it really is alive. It could actually be a living sentient creature, blessed with the precious gift of life, capable of love and joy and sorrow. Maybe I should kill it."

The magic dick was floating just in front of her bellybutton. Sabrina tried to pull it up in front of her face but it wouldn't budge, so she got on her knees and looked at it eyes to eye.

"Hello," she said. "Are you a person? Can you hear me? Can you speak? Do you have any credit cards?"

The thing had grown to be about ten inches long. It was fat and warm and still throbbing and glowing and sparkling and Sabrina realized as she continued to stroke it that she was getting turned on. But how could she control the wand if all it did was hover in the air and make that spooky humming noise? There had to be some way to communicate with it, some way to make it do her bidding. It was a magic wand, for goddess's sake, so where was the magic?

"Make a wish."

What? Was that a voice? But she took her medication this morning.

"Make a wish."

There it was again. And it wasn't coming from inside her head, it was coming from the wand.

"Oh wow," she said. "A floating throbbing glowing sparkling humming prick that actually talks. Yeah, everything's normal in my world."

"Make a wish, you dumb cunt."

"Okay, okay, no need to get testicle about it." Sabrina closed her eyes and said, "I wish my aunts were still stuck in that Nazi concentration camp."

"No, no, no, make a different wish."

"But I like that one. Besides, you're a magic wand, not Aladdin's lamp. You're supposed to respond to my will."

"Give me a break. The guy who's writing this is an untalented moron who has no idea where the story's going. He's just making it up as he goes along. Now, make a wish. And stop stroking me like that or I'll shoot."

"But isn't this what I'm supposed to do? Rub the magic lamp and out pops-"

Just at that moment the floating choda erupted, spraying Sabrina's face and breasts with sperm. Sabrina yelped and fell back on her butt, just like she did in detention.

"Oh, thanks a lot, creep," she said. She wiped the warm gooey stuff off her face.

"Hey, I warned ya. Now, you gonna make that wish or not?"

"I wish you hadn't come in my face, how's that?"

"No. A different wish."

"I wish Salem had burned to death."

"A different wish. Try to frame it around the concept of a tall muscular and financially stable guy who looks a lot like Tom Cruise. No, wait, Brad Pitt."

"Oh, okay, I get it." Sabrina finished wiping the sperm from her body, rubbed it into the carpet, and said, "I wish I had a guy with Bruce Willis's body, Brad Pitt's face, Stephen Hawking's intelligence, and Bill Gates's bank account. And the stamina of a porn star. And Boy George's sensitivity. He's such a sweet guy."

"Are you through?"

"Oh, and super size it."

"As you wish," the sparkling rod said.

Suddenly a shazamlike lightning bolt flashed in the room, Sabrina screamed, and the magic wand was transformed.

"Son of a bitch!" he said. "Look what you did to me! You gave me the body of Stephen Hawking, the face of Boy George, the bank account of an out of work porn star, the stamina of Bill Gates, the sensitivity of Bruce Willis, and the intelligence of, Brad...that idiot in that movie."

"Oh wow," Sabrina said.

"Oh wow? That's all you can say? Look at me, I'm in a fuckin wheelchair!"

"I'm so sorry. Gee, you must be pretty upset."

"Does it sound like I'm ordering a fuckin pizza?"

"Well, what can I do? How can I fix this?"

"I dunno!" the former magic wand and currently incapacitated man said. "I don't remember! You gave me the brain of an ape!"

"Wait a minute!" Sabrina cried. "I have an idea!"

"Great," the crippled man replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can't wait to find out what it is. Just don't tell me you see dead people, cause that would ruin my whole fuckin day."

"Oh, okay, so I don't have an idea. Oh wait! I know!"

Sabrina crawled over to the magic invalid, took his withered flaccid penis in her hand, and began stroking it.

"Oh good," the completely impaired man said, "return to the scene of the crime, why dontcha."

"I'm gonna wish again," Sabrina said. She closed her eyes. "I wish you had Stephen Hawking's body, Boy George's face, Bill Gates's stamina, Bruce Willis's sensitivity, Brad Pitt's supposed intelligence, and that you were in debt up to your ears."

"Um, witchgirl, I think maybe you weren't paying attention?"

"Shut up and grant my wish, Mr. Glass."

"Okay, but I got a bad feelin about you wish!"

Suddenly a shazamlike lightning bolt flashed in the room, Sabrina screamed, and the broken down shell of a man was transformed. He was now a tall and muscular (and very well hung, Sabrina was pleased to see) Adonis.

"Hey!" he said. "It worked! And now that I've got my brain back I understand how you did it! You simply wished for the opposite of what you truly wanted! Because your luck is so shitty that your magic always turns out backward! Because you yourself are such a backward human being! Because you're such a dimwitted pathetic slut loser-"

"Okay, okay, that's enough," Sabrina said. "You granted my wish and now I've got my sex god to play with." She jumped onto the bed and spread her legs and said, "Come and get me, Brad!"

Brad growled and leaped toward the bed. He landed perfectly between Sabrina's legs and impaled her with his gigantorsized dick. Sabrina cried out with surprise and pleasure as he fucked her until they both reached the pinnacle of desire. Afterward, Sabrina and her new playmate lay in bed together, smoking cigarettes and talking.

"Wow," Sabrina said, "that was the best pinnacle of desire I've ever had."

"Tell me about it," Brad replied.

Sabrina rolled over and looked at the clock on her nightstand.

"Oh my goddess," she said, "it's two in the morning. We've been fucking for hours."

"Tell me about it," Brad replied.

"I wonder why my aunts Beavis and Butthead haven't even come in to check on me, let alone lift the spell? I've been a good girl, haven't I?"

"Tell me about it," Brad replied. "But don't worry about the spell, Sabrina. That was lifted a couple of hours ago."

"Really? How?"

"I lifted it myself. Right around the time you were reaching your thirteenth pinnacle of desire."

"But what about my aunts?"

"Oh, I sent them to the violent sex offenders wing at San Quentin."

"Oh wow, you did that for me?" Sabrina squealed in delight and hugged Brad, who very smoothly guided her head down to his lap. Sabrina, overcome with gratitude, began to suck him with wild abandon.

"Oh, and one more thing," Brad said. "Your cat is dead."

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